near death experiences

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Email from Spiritual Seekers to a Near Death Experiencer

 

Fear of Death

 

 

 

 

 

 

Afraid I will never see him again fear of death

Diane

Hi......I think this is a spirtitual path but i am not sure, i am 20 years old and in the last couple of days i have been overwelmed by the fear of dying that i am afraid to anything i just want to stay home and spent every minute with my soon to be husband and family. I cant say i am afraid of dying it is the thought, i am so afraid that i will be alone and i will never see my fiance agian.......I am wondering the meaning of life and how this all can exist.....i know there has to be a god because non of this is possible but this is not helping me with my fear of death. The doctors have precribed me many medications to help with my fear of death, but i dont want to be on drugs all my life just so i can have a normal one!! I cant travel because i do not want to get on a plane, and i cant go on rollercoasters or anything like that! Please Help Me!!

Thanks
Krystal

Dear Krystal,
If this were your spiritual path, it would mean you chose to spend a lifetime living in fear. Your spiritual path is your mission in life, your reason for coming here, the purpose of this lifetime. You're only 20... imagine yourself at 80, still afraid to go out of your house, never finding any joy, wasting your entire life living in fear. Some how I don't think that would be helpful to your spiritual growth so let's look at it another way.

It sounds like you're describing a panic attack scenario. A sudden overwhelming fear of dying on the spot, alone and, most humiliating, with strangers around you watching. It frequently happens in grocery stores (workers find abandoned carts full of groceries because the person had to run out of the store and get home before some terrible catastrophic thing happened to them). When this happens often enough, it can overwhelm the person who may then develop other fears and phobias, including agoraphobia where they are afraid to leave their house (some people have stayed in their homes for decades, too afraid of what might happen or sure they will die if they venture out).

A psychiatrist will give you drugs to try to calm the electrical storm in your brain down long enough for you to begin to think rationally but you don't want to take drugs all your life so you need to find alternative therapies. Nothing works all the time for everyone so you have to shop around, do some research on the internet, try several approaches until you find what works for you. A psychologist will work with you to change your thinking. Rational-emotive therapy may help you to realize that your thoughts are unreasonable, behavior therapy may help you change your behavior patterns, cognitive therapy may help you put your mind to better use than dwelling on things over which we have no control. Massage therapy can relax your body and mind from everyday stresses. Hypnotherapy may uncover the source of your fears and help you stand up to them so they lose their power over you and empower your self to find your purpose in life. Learning meditation may help you discover a peaceful place in your mind where there is no fear. Spiritual seeking will help you realize who you really are and to see there is no death to fear, only change... because we are spiritual beings having human being experiences, we are in the world but not of it, we are only here to learn and to enjoy the beauty and wonder of this earth.

Please explore the Spiritual Lessons on my site to give you more insight into becoming the divine-human being that you are.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

 


What is wrong with me?

Hey.
My name is Andréa and Im 17 years old right now. Im sending this email in hopes that you may be able to make sense of something no one else can. From what Ive heard and read every one fears death in a way but I cannot believe that everyone is going through and feeling what I deal with every day. I dont understand why something that should seem peacful and natural controls everything I do.
I have feared death since I was 10 unlike other stories I hear about how people go through a tramatic situation and they come out scarred it just happened to me one night while my grandparents were babysitting. Maybe I remember the specific time because Im still younger I dont know but that night still burns in the back of my mind I wish it never happened. Ever since that day especially in spring (no clue there either) I am haunted with the idea that someday I am not here.
Now I get that my spirit lives on but my initial gut feeling says why do I have to leave I like being me...why would my spirit want to leave this body.
When I was 11 I was in a bad car accident at 6 in the morning 3 hours after my little brother was born. Everyone else was ok but I was rushed to the hospital I dont remember very much but they said it was a miricle that my neck wasnt broken. Now my father ( a mennonite minister) insisted to me that it was a message from God saying that I wasnt suposed to die yet. But that didnt solve the problem all it did was show me how quick and easy it is for his so called "God" to pull the plug. Now Im not Anti-christian but growing up in a very huuman run version of the belief I grew tired of the antics they kept pushing on me, so I do apologise if u are offended.
From the outside it looks to ppl like I have the perfect life; I have a family although different still the best I could ever hope for, a loving boyfriend who no matter what Im going through helps me through it and a group of very understanding friends. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! It seems that no matter what goes right I still go back to the fear that its all going to be ripped away from me while Im thrashing and screaming wishing it was all a dream.
My biggest concern you could say would be having to live the rest of my life with this fear. Ive read some of the other letters on your site and they seem to be by a lot of older ppl mid life crisis I guess. I dont want to be stuck in this rut all my life. I dont want to be thinking on my wedding day..."whats the point some day Im going to die" Already this fear has caused me to drop out of school lose some of the friends that I was to worried to tell Im scared to go to work because I dont want to "freak out" as I call it, in front of my new co-workers...I need help. I feel that because you have seen what most of us havent you may be able to speak so me on a level that those that have been around me this whole time cant.
Sorry to have blabbed my whole life story out. I just feel it so important to be able to talk to someone who went through and conquered what I feel now.
Memento mori
Andréa

Dear Andrea,
When you say "freak out," do you mean you're having panic attacks (if you're not sure what that means, do an internet search on "panic attacks")? It usually goes along with extreme fears and anxiety, the worst case being suddenly having an overwhelming (but irrational) fear you are going to die at that moment. It can lead to agorophobia, fear of going out of the house, and the person becomes a prisoner. It's fairly common, especially among women, and you have a number of choices for treatment (drugs, counseling, hypnosis, past life regression, yoga or exercise can all be helpful, as well as improving your nutrition). But the underlying cause gets back to your earliest memories of the fear that began one day at age 10 with your grandparents and was compounded by subsequent events, until it has grown into this huge unmanageable overwhelming fear. Picture a long string with occasional knots in it, each knot is an event connected to the first event (the knots need to be undone). The drugs (have to see a psychiatrist for that) can calm you down and give you time to gather your wits and think more rationally so you can deal with the underlying causes (and that's only if you're in really bad shape). Counseling can help you put it all in perspective. Hypnosis can help you remember details you may have repressed and see events from a more adult perspective. If you are still unable to release the energy, it may be a carry over pattern from past lives and you might decide past life regression would be helpful to get the whole picture.

People hold different beliefs about God and different perspectives about how the world works. Your father has a belief system that tells him God decides whether we live or die because he believes God created the world and holds our lives in his hands. He's not right or wrong, that's just his perspective. You apparently see the world differently-- what you need to do is define how you see the world and your beliefs will become evident. If you fear that what your father believes is the truth, the (feeling of) fear is a message from your Soul telling you to question this, seek more information, look at it from different angles, read about what other people have thought about these questions and decide what feels right. When it feels right, you and your Soul are in agreement. By this I don't mean wishful thinking, it must be grounded in reason.

I would suggest you read more about other religious belief systems and different philosophers to find out how many different ways there are of looking at the same thing. We have to use our gut feelings to decide what's right and wrong. What I realized during my NDE was that all religions have truth in them and, in many cases, are saying the same thing just using different words. They are all parts of the whole but none of them have all the answers or give their flocks all the answers they have. The secrets of the priest-class and secret societies and ancient mystery schools throughout history is interesting reading, but do they only tell us what they want us to believe, what they think we can handle?

Keep in mind that a spiritual path is a process and that you are always where you are supposed to be on your path. If you are struggling, you need to recognize that you are struggling and figure out what the lesson is you're not getting... not stay stuck in the struggle. If your emotions are raw, you are learning what it's like to experience raw emotions... why? (Hint: most often to teach others). If other people are upsetting you, whatever they are doing is what you need to work on yourself... not to get upset at them about (Know Thy Self). Become the observer of your life (your Soul perspective) instead of getting wrapped up in the drama. We are all here to learn from each other, we are all both teachers and students (age is irrelevant). And we go through lifetime after lifetime with the same souls so we never leave each other, it's just that sometimes we're in body and sometimes we're not. We are not our bodies, they are just the coats we wear during a particular lifetime, at the end of which we take them off and dance on. We are great and powerful spiritual beings on a quest for God-Consciousness. But that's just my perspective.

I suggest you spend some time on my site, read about reincarnation and karma and consider the implications in your life so far, learn meditation (very helpful to lessen anxiety), check out some of the links and books I recommend to anyone who wants to raise their consciousness and understand what they really believe in their heart. After you do a lot of reading (weeks, months), stop for a while and let it all sink in (weeks, months), let your mind sort through all the information and come to its own conclusions about how the world works. By then you will be asking deeper, more meaningful questions and you will start searching all over again. At some point you will become aware that you have a higher purpose in life and will begin a quest to find it. Keep in mind that the joy is in the journey and the journey is never-ending as your goal evolves.

Be aware that thoughts are things... you are the way you are today because of the thoughts you had yesterday and you can change the direction of you life tomorrow by thinking differently today. Your will die some day, but you will not... simply determine to live each day to the fullest so you get the most joy out of whatever time you have in this lifetime. Remember too that love both given and received is the only thing we take with us when we return to our spiritual home and loved ones... so love as much as possible.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

 

 

There must be a bigger picture

Hello Diane,
My name is Peter and I'm a musician. My father went through a very horrid death. He had liver cancer and he was an alcoholic. He was given a month prognosis and died 2 and a half weeks later. I was fifteen at the time and actually seeing him die was something that's never left me. Death is a subject that has fueled my art and music. The mysterious/unknown part of it scares the life out of me. I feel so bad that I doubt so much. I've heard so many stories of going thru a painless death and waking up in glory and I just can't quite believe all of it. I guess my main fear is that once you're dead you're dead and that is it. I also mourn for all of the people I see in old gray photos and i wonder if they are all alright or if they are just decomposing corpses never to be heard from again. I mean, they all had families just like we do. I just can't bear the thought of humanity being a mistake and there not being a bigger picture. I just can't deal with the thought of my own extinction. I can deal with a painless death, even a young death as long as I know once and for all that there really is a God and an afterlife. Are you sure that you experienced the otherside? I do believe in God but I have a hard time dealing with life and death.

Dear Peter,
How do you know that what you are experiencing right at this moment is not a dream? If you are dreaming, are you the dreamer or are you in the dream? How can you tell a dream from reality? When you're lucid dreaming, you're dreaming while awake so how do you know which state is reality? What if we live in a multi-dimensional universe with many different realities... how do we determine which is the real reality? Or can we exist in multiple realities at the same time? Are we more than just this physical body or is this skin just a coat we wear while on earth?

I'm as sure as I can be that I experienced another side... what side I'm not sure, but definitely a different reality than this one. One that is extremely similar to this one, yet not. Perhaps not the same place other NDErs have experienced, and not like the place described in the Bible or other so-called sacred texts, but definitely not this place.

I was like you, thought the same kinds of thoughts, can't say I believed in God, Heaven, Hell, Angels, life after death, none of it... nice thought, but it just didn't make sense to me. I'd likely still see it that way if God hadn't whacked me upside the head and said, here I am! An NDE is certainly a good way to wake someone up but it's only necessary for the most stubborn among us. Then I'm given the job of waking others up without giving them an NDE. Gee thanks, God!

Now you have to make a choice here, Peter, before I say any more. You say your fear of the unknown has fueled your art and music because it scares the life out of you... powerful motivation! What if something I said turned on the light and the darkness went away? What if you found inner peace and joy in living as a spiritual being having human being experiences? Would you be able to raise your art and music to a new level to reflect your new found bliss in knowing that life goes on and we are all part of a greater plan that goes on in many dimensions for all eternity? Or are you too comfortable in your cave and don't really want to change?

Let me know.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Dear Diane,
Wow! I never thought that you would actually respond to me. I do sincerely believe in an afterlife and have dreamed about it ever since I understood mortality. I guess all of the negative, horrific, and terrible scenarios I've seen of death has fueled my fear over the years. If all one saw from death was the agony and pain of the end of someone's physical existance and not the transformation from physical to spiritual their idea of death (and life) would be very narrow, wouldn't it? I think I have seen so much pain and misery associated with death that I fear the same will be for me.

I must say then that you are very lucky to have died. And I mean that seriously. You got to "preview" where we are going and understand why we are here. You must be able to feel very content in your own skin. I think it if all humanity knew for sure that there was an afterlife there wouldn't be so much negativity in this world. If we all knew of our immortality (as spirits) we would try to love more than hate. These are just ideas I think of when I think of an afterlife.

What did if feel like when you left your body? What did it look like when you first saw outside your body? Did you know you were dead as soon as you looked out of your body? What senses did you have?

I don't mean to come across as a hostile skeptic, because I'm not. I just have had a hard time trusting people's words in my life and death is the biggest subject I've had to deal with and I don't want to be unprepared for what may await me. I guess since every religion has told me different stories I chose to believe that you blackout after indescribable pain, torture and misery. Kind of the "wrath of nature" scenario. And I don't want to just take somone's word for it. But nders experiences are the only one's that make any sense out of the lot. I suppose it comes down to this...you have experienced the otherside, I have not, at least not to any great degree, experienced it. I believe in humans that have seen it more than those who preach about it.

I very much enjoy your words and outlook, i think you really are here to calm humanities fear of death. What an awesome life mission to have. I think it is definitely something needed.
Thanx,
PETER

Dear Peter,
Even though we may face a horrible death, the moment we cross over, all that is behind us. We immediately forget any pain and suffering we might have gone through prior to that moment. Even if we are murdered or tortured or have a terrible disease or come face to face with a tsunami as many did the other day... the reason is that we are not our bodies. We are spiritual beings having human being experiences. When that experience is over we go on with the rest of our lives, of which our human being experience was just a part, a phase we went through like childhood.

When I left my body, I had a momentary blackout because I don't remember leaving my body , just reawakening above the river looking down. At first I was so in awe of my vantage point, I didn't realize I was dead. Everything looked just like it does when in body and I had all my senses, even more so. I wasn't any more aware of having a body than I am normally (but I'm not very body conscious normally), it didn't occur to me at any time to look to see if I had a body, but I can't say that I felt body-less. I was still me.

If you meditate (after a good deal of practice), you get this feeling of floating out and away from your body. You are still who you are, you're just lighter (free of gravity, free of physical constraints). It's a glimpse into crossing over and can bring you peace of mind that there is nothing to fear. What I teach in my book Through the Tunnel is how to practice dying so that when you do, you'll know exactly where you are and what to do when the time comes for an even more peaceful transition. I'm not saying that it's all bliss... one's experience will be based on how how one lived their life and the thoughts they dwelled on. We all will have to face what we denied in life as part of the process... and it is a mental process, a learning experience, not one of torment and punishment. But with practice, one doesn't experience helplessness and lack of control. Knowing that puts a new perspective on this life and how one lives this life because it is the one we need to be paying attention to at this moment.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Diane,
   thank you so much for your response. I think that when all is said and done I am going to be sad when I die because of leaving my friends. I guess if I didn't have anyone or anything in this world death wouldn't mess with me so much. I guess I just love a lot of people and want to have that security of knowing they'll be with me. I don't mean to sound weird but I truly love this world and can see all the good that comes out of it. I see so much good and then see something horrific and my world perception changes, ya know. I've kept optomistic all my life. Sometimes I'll just sit and try to remember before I was born, but I guess it doesn't work that way. In your first letter you asked me if I could still make powerful music/art with a different perspective on life and death. I say yes. I would be able to make very good music. So my question is-how can you help me get piece of mind?
   Thank You Diane.
              -peter

 

Dear Peter,
I can assure you that you won't be sad when you die because you won't be leaving your friends. I realize it's difficult to comprehend how that can be but as much as you think you love people now, you will feel greater love for them when you cross over and you'll realize that we are never really separated from each other or God, it is only that when we are human, we think we are separate. From our perspective on the other side, our lifetime on earth, however long, was like stepping out for a cup of coffee and coming back to work. Time is relative. We come and go from our spiritual home for an adventure to earth and return having learned something important to our spiritual development. We travel with familiar others in and out of lifetimes on earth but our true home is in the spiritual dimensions.

I can only assure you that peace of mind is possible with freedom from fear of death... as long as you know it's a possibility you can take steps to achieve it. Where your thoughts dwell, life will take you so mind your thoughts. Meditation is a helpful tool for learning to listen to the Silence. When you find the Silence, you'll find God (or whatever you want to call it). Stopping one's thoughts as well as stopping negative thoughts is a process of reconditioning and there are many techniques available. Once learned, the desired altered state can be achieved automatically and a feeling of peace washes over the body. If you can get lost in your music, you know the feeling I'm talking about... when nothing else exists but this moment. When you realize this is the truth of existence, that you are both a drop of water and the ocean. Everything is in a continuous state of change... there are no beginnings and no endings... we have always been and, no matter what else happens, will always be.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

 

 

I try to scream away the fear

Dear Diane,

Hope this email finds you in good health.
Your experience and your writings is helping me to overcome this dreadful fear of death. I had this morbid fear since I was very little. I have no idea why I have this fear of death.
I had two depressions because of it and I am trying very hard to understand the whole concept. I ordered your book:" Through the tunnel" and I need some time to really understand it and absorb the whole thing.
Any idea why I still have this fear?
Whenever the thought of death comes to my mind I need to scream in order to let it go away.
I am 58 years old and I lived with this fear all my life.
Hope you have a chance to answer me. I really would appreciate any thought about it.
Thanks again for all your wonderful work and dedication .
Send you peace and love

Maria

Dear Maria,
Fears often come about due to childhood experiences. Some may go away and come back in adulthood when something similar triggers the old buried fear. Try writing about your fear, give it a name, draw a picture of it, have a dialog with it, ask it what it wants from you, ask it what it wants to tell you, ask it what strengths it has to give you. You can turn an enemy into an ally by giving it respect without giving it any power. When you take back the power, you'll find the strength it has for you. Fear is a protective measure of the ego. It can be useful to keep us from stepping into traffic or avoiding a hot stove. It becomes harmful when it still treats us as a child who needs protection, when we are an adult who can protect ourselves. It keeps us from becoming all we can be. By acknowledging the fear is part of you and serves to protect you, but it is not who you are, it doesn't define your personality, you take back your power and put it in its place.

I hope reading my book and some of the email in Seekers Open Forum will help ease your mind. You are certainly not alone in having this fear. It keeps a person from being able to experience life fully which is a terrible waste of a wonderful opportunity.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Dear Diane,
You have no idea how glad I was receiving your email! Just the thought that you actually took the time to answer me shows what a caring a lovely person you are. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I continue reading your site and I printed all its content which filled a thick binder. It is for me like a Bible and whenever I feel down or scared I consult it giving me comfort.

Thank you again Diane,
sending you love, peace and serenity

Maria

 

Constant petrifying, paralyzing fear

Dear Diane

I am writing to you for some help as I am going through a very distressing and difficult time in my life at present. I know you are very busy and may not be able to reply straight way but I wanted you to hear my story........

I am 27 years old and since 1991 have suffered Panic Attacks and bouts of severe Anxiety. I had my first panic attack a week after a very close and lovely Uncle died of cancer very suddenly. I consider myself very knowledgeable on the subject of Anxiety and have read many books etc. I have also had much counselling and other people have always thought that my attacks have stemmed from my Uncle's death although I have never been sure......

Over the last six months I have been feeling increasingly panicky and have had several severe attacks that have been utterly petrifying but more disturbingly to me for the first time I have been consiously panicking about the fact that ONE DAY I AM GOING TO DIE AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.....

Again my reaction to this has been to delve for information in books, on the net, ask questions and to look for reasons as to why this is happening to me now? I have just had 3 deaths in the family again, an Uncle, my Grandad and a close friend so maybe it has envoked stuff in me again but I am so terrified.....

I feel so alone, I look at other people and wonder how they can walk around enjoying life without living in fear of death. The large panic attacks I have experienced are aweful, I feel like I am on the edge of a gaping black chasm about to be swept into nothingness forever. I get surges of fear so great that I feel that grotesque horror is about to sweep me away into madness. I sit there having an attack thinking "You are having a PA, you are not going to die" and then I add 2nd fear by then thinking "But you COULD die right this minute....." and then I think but one day I will die and I can't stop it.

I don't even know what I am scared of exactly but I am not enjoying my life at all at the moment and leave with this constant petfriying, paralyzing fear....

Sorry to have gone on and on, any help/thoughts/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Do you think I am going mad?

Regards

Mandie

Dear Mandie,
Panic attacks are often triggered by the death of someone close to us because it makes death a reality we have to face but don't want to. Most people have repressed their fear of death and even though they may look like they live without fear of death, there is an underlying anxiety about it. Then somebody close to them dies, and they experience full blown panic attacks because they can't deny it any more.

Let me give you a different perspective to consider. Panic attacks are insistent messages from our soul to get us to wake up and recognize our true self. Often times during our lifetime, our soul tries to get our attention but our ego, which fears annihilation, does all it can to keep us from even realizing that there is more to us than we've been led to believe. When we continually miss opportunities to recognize our spiritual nature, the attempts by our soul to get our attention become stronger. The death of someone close to us is an opportunity for us to realize that death only refers to death of the body, not of the personality that wore the body during its lifetime on earth. But we again miss this opportunity by declaring our loved one dead and gone. At this point the soul becomes more urgent and shows us what we fear, in your case "the edge of a gaping black chasm about to be swept into nothingness forever. I get surges of fear so great that I feel that grotesque horror is about to sweep me away into madness." But then the "panic attack" subsides and you realize that didn't happen, and you are still walking around breathing. And rest assured that no one has ever died from a panic attack. What your soul is telling you is that there is no death and there is nothing to fear.

It's true that we are all going to die someday but we choose to believe that that's a bad thing, usually because that's what we've been told. But if we chose instead to believe that death is a beautiful experience for the person making the transition back to their spiritual home, we can celebrate their crossing over and help them reach the light more quickly, and feel their joy over our own sorrow at the loss of their physical presence. Of course there is sorrow that they will no longer be with us in their physical body, but there is joy in knowing they are healthy and happy, that they are still part of our lives watching over us from the other side and that we will be with them again when it is our turn to make our transition from the physical to the spiritual world.

You might also consider that you might have had a traumatic childhood experience that you repressed and these recent deaths have awakened it, or that you had a fearful death in a past life that you need to revisit. Read some information on my web site about reincarnation and past lives and consider that if you lived past lives, you survived death because you're here now... so there really is no death.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

 

I dwell on the fear of dying

Hi Diane, My name is Melissa and I read your story. I think it's fascinating what you experienced. I know you get alot of e-mails but I'm hoping you can respond to my letter. I can write forever so i'll keep it very simple. First thing is I fear death, no matter how many NDE's I read, because no one knows for sure whats next, and there are alot of skeptics that make you think other wise. The question I have is why do people who are considered dead that are revived don't recall anything? And do you have to be born again to go to heaven? there's so many questions I have, but I don't even know if you'll have time for to answer these. I dwell on the fear of dying alot and I just wish I wouldn't. I wish a was able to talk to someone like you thats had this experience, just to understand more . I think your a lucky woman to have experienced something like this , and given a second chance in life to teach others and yourself what life is, and can be.

Thank you, Melissa :)

Dear Melissa, I can't offer you proof, only information and resources to read so you can make up your own mind about what's real. By the time you've read all the information on my site, you'll have many answers (including to the questions you asked here) and you'll have even deeper questions. This is a journey, a nearly endless journey for there is so-o-o-o much to learn, which is why it involves many lives and many deaths. You are the seeker and you are here on a mission, you have this lifetime to figure out as much as you can. Meditation is the first tool you need because the answers are within.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

This scares the hell out me

hi,

im 25 years old male,still single with no girlfriend, one day i had this sudden pounding of my heart very fast, and began to think of dying and this scares the hell out me, i began to think what would happen to me when i die and what if there is no life after death...then their is feeling that i would not want to die,i began to question why we have live and die...why cant we live forever...this has been going for weeks now can you help forget about the thought...pls help me out

Truly yours, JUN

 

Dear Jun,

What you had were the classic symptoms of a panic attack. There are two ways to look at it-- scientifically, it was a massive overfiring of the brain cells, likely caused by being over stressed or too much stress for too long-- and spiritually, your soul is trying to get your attention that you need to make some changes in your life path, you're going in the wrong direction. The questions you are asking yourself are symptoms of existential angst... it's something all people go through at some time in their lives where they question who am I? why am I here? etc.-- it can lead to despair or spiritual seeking.

You're off to a good start, seeking answers... this part lasts the rest of your life! My web site is designed to help people like you. Read all the Lessons Beyond the Veil, pay special attention to Meditation, that will help calm your mind and open you to higher energies which are available to assist seekers. The books and links I have listed are to expand your consciousness and provide information so you can ask better questions... and answers should lead to more questions... but you have to do the work. You are being given a choice by your soul to get on your spiritual path now... or not. If not, your soul will tap you on the shoulder again sometime and give you another opportunity to seek the Light.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Dear Diane,

Thanks a lot for your advice,hope to keep in touch,I'm planning to have a confession, you this could help me,can you tell me how properly meditate...thanks a lot...I'll try to re-organize my life

Always, JUN

JUN,

When you say you are planning to have a confession, do you mean go to a priest? And is your question do I think this could help you? If that's your question and you do mean confess to a priest... from your original email, I don't know what you think you need to confess to, but if you think you do and going to a priest is something you normally do, I'd say it certainly can't hurt. What I think you might need to do is forgive yourself, but asking God's forgiveness may need to come first. Go with what feels right to you. I mentioned in my last email... all the information you need to get you started is on my web site, including how to properly meditate. You have to do the work of actually going there, reading it and doing it, to get yourself together and on with your spiritual journey. It doesn't come in a flash, all at once, it unfolds slowly over time as long as you continue looking toward the Light.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Hi,

I finally had an answer yesterday,when I was about to cross the railroad, that's where I used to make a shortcut on my way home I saw a woman who is about to cross, I thought she saw it coming or hear it, Then I wanted to shout at her to help, but Im to far to be heard,then it happened, she was hit,I didn't know if she's dead, I didn't take a glimpse cuz I was so scared or shaken to look,when I eventually reach the other side of the road three men saw me that,they said to me,that that woman is just behind me when were walking, i just remembered then that I have stopped to look at a smoke,that was coming from the garbage, I saw it now that GOD have let me saw it to realize that at any moment he can take ourlives in just a snap, for me GOD has showed me that never question your existence, for their is a purpose for everything..thanks a lot

God Bless

jun

 

Dear jun,

Answers from God often come to us in strange ways. You're right, your next breath could be your last so live a joyful and meaningful life in the mean time! This is just the beginning of your spiritual journey, if I can help you in the future, let me know.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

I don't want to live with this fear

Hello...I feel incredibly silly writing this e-mail. I am an exremely sensible person...very practical...hands -on...believe what I see type of girl. For my whole life I have felt as it I was going to die at a young age. For the past week I have had overwhelming feelings of fear in relation to death and dying. Firstly, I feel as if I am going to die. I can't see past where I am now...I can't envision a future at all. The feeling is overwhelming, nearly causing panic attacks. I also have a fear of dying whenever it shall happen. Ceasing to exist...closing my eyes and never waking up. Fearing that we are just an evolution of cells and organs evolved form apes and that when we die, we die. That there is nothing more. The world goes on and on for millions of years and we are dust. I fear it all. I don't know what I believe...it is almost too hard to believe in an afterlife, I have never experienced anything to help that belief along. I am only 23, and I don't want to live with this fear. Is it possible that in a former life I died at a young age and feel that pain now? Please help me, I am in agony.

Kelly

Dear Kelly,

There are several things that could be going on with you. It could be a past life memory, in which case I'd suggest you find you find a past life regression therapist. The only way to dissolve the trace is to relive it, accept it and put it aside. Also if it is a past life then you already know you survived that death to live again, which answers your questions. Your former body didn't survive physical death, but YOU survived and are now called Kelly in this life.

The symptoms you are describing may be considered a last ditch effort by your soul to get you to recognize that you have a body, you have emotions, you have this life, but none of that is who you are. Who you are is a spiritual being having a human being experience. You came to this school to learn what you can about life and being human... and, for God's sake, enjoy it!! The symptoms of panic attacks are physical (racing heart, dry mouth, sweaty palms, shaking and others) and emotional (an overwhelming fear of imminent death)... throughout our lives our soul offers us opportunities to wake up to who we really are, usually through relationships with others and circumstances through which we learn and grow... when we don't learn, the lessons are repeated and are usually harder each time. Fear of death and panic attacks are nudges from our soul wanting to be acknowledged. The nudges get stronger when we don't pay attention. It often takes a severe trauma to wake up very stubborn people... an accident, an illness, a financial loss, a legal issue, a near death experience, but many people get it before that needs to happen. Your panic attacks, as well as your fears, may be your soul trying to tell you something. Rather than think of fear as something out to get you, turn and face it and ask it what it wants of you. It isn't real so it doesn't have any power over you other than what you give it. This is a mental exercise that is best accomplished during meditation or with a hypnotherapist where you can get in touch with your inner wisdom and turn fear into strength and character.

As to your existential angst, it's normal, everyone goes through it in one way or another at some point in their life (a significant event often triggers it). Just keep in mind that it is a process... ongoing, never-ending... but some where along the way you will find your truth and you will know it when you find it. It's not a matter of belief but a knowingness. It is a journey and the joy is in the seeking, not in the finding. By the time you read my entire web site and follow all the links, and read all the books and all the emails in Open Forum, you will be in a better position to form your own belief system. Learn and consider everything without judgment and your truth will emerge. When you turn to a Higher Power for guidance, you will begin to experience life in a very different way.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Obsessed with the impermanence of life

A good friend of mine recently died. I have since been obsessed with the impermenance of life, and eveything. I want to believe there Is something after death, but account of this from NDEs are so varied I don't know what to believe. What is our purpose here? Is there a way to find out before death? How can I confirm that there will be a conciousness after death. Death scares me, no-it terrfies me, and since my friend's death, I find myself seeing death all around me, in trees, in the river outside my house, looming over ther heads of everyone I see. (I don't really see it, rather the thought passes through that it is there.) How do I deal with this? knowing that the grim spectre of death is upon me and everyone else? I'm 25, I shouldn't be thinking these things, but I do. Maybe it's obsessive. I don't know, I just know it's not the best feeling... but ummm, GREAT SITE! There, that is my comment. Keep up the good work.

Daniel

Dear Daniel,

Consider that you are on your spiritual path. The death of someone close to us forces us to look at issues we generally don't want to think about. We begin to question what we thought before and embark on a quest to find answers that make sense to us and bring us peace of mind. This is where you are on your spiritual path right now.

The path is dynamic so consider that you are moving forward just by putting your questions into words. Now you go through a period of learning, reading everything you can get your hands on, asking others about their views, thinking about other people's thinking, and meditating on it all. Allow all these new ideas and thoughts and questions to swim around in your mind and allow a new perspective on the world to emerge that feels right to you. This will happen over time. You will be watching your self unfold and in that you will find your purpose and the meaning of your life. You will find some helpful tools for your spiritual path by reading through my web site and visiting recommended links, but the real work is done within yourself. You will come to know there is no death and nothing to fear through your own experiences which will confirm what you already know, you just don't know yet that you know it.

Expect these periods of questioning everything you believed to be true to occur many times over your lifetime, for there is always more. When you use these periods for personal and spiritual growth, you will accomplish much in this lifetime for your soul growth. When you realize you are a soul with a body, not a body with a soul, you have made a giant leap into higher consciousness thinking.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Overwhelmed by thoughts of dying

I cannot tell you how my life has become almost unmanageable because i have a fear of death. i am overwhelmed with the thoughts. of me dying of my loved ones of people that i dont even know. i think the fear is getting worse day by day. it use to be weekly than daily now its almost every minute. everything i look at and hear puts me in deep thought and depression and fear of the whole death thing. the thing i find the scariest is that i can't find anyone who fears this with me. so i feel so alone and so weird. its like i cant understand why others can just live they're life and not be terrified. not that i would never want someone to feel these things i feel but sometimes i think it would be a lil better if someone understood cuz they feel it too. as i am sitting here writing this i am sobbing , my throat is hurting cuz i am trying not to cry. i am affraid that my children are thinking i am crazy so i try not to talk to them too much about this. than i find myself doing it. I am so sorry for going on like this and not knowing if this is even what i am suppose to do..... but i am so excited and thankful to read what you had to say to think i maybe can find some help. i have no idea where to go or what to do . if you can help me out .... ohhhh i cant even tell you ... . please when you get a free moment if you can write me back,if i havent scared you.

sincerely,

Kathryn

 

Dear Kathryn,

Reading my book, Through the Tunnel, might put death into perspective for you, but what is it you really fear? Is it being left alone? Are you afraid of what comes next? Did something happen to trigger this or has it been going on for a long time and if so, when did it start? What religious ideas have influenced you? Was there a person in your life who threatened you with terrible consequences? Have there been a lot of deaths in your family? Have current events made your fear worse? Writing down these questions and your answers might give you a better perspective on what you're actually dealing with.

A current event can trigger a childhood memory at the subconscious level and exacerbate the fear in the adult. There are many things that contribute to this fear so a little analyzing might help you understand it... intellectually. Beyond that there are things you can do to transform your fear into a strength, maybe even your mission in life. Often times overwhelming fear can simply be a message from your soul that you need to pay attention to something you've been neglecting that is important to your spiritual path. It will do you good to write about this, make it into a journal, including writing down what you were doing when the fear came up, was it something someone said, something you read or heard on TV, a song you heard, an image you saw.

One thing you don't want to do is pass your fear onto your children, instead you'll be able to use it as a learning tool to help them. Believe me, you're not alone with fear of death, it affects many people but no one talks about it.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Fear of death overwhelms me

I know that you are very busy, and probably do not have time to answer all of the emails that are sent to you, and that is okay. I just need to know that I made an effort to seek out some answers. I am a 23 year old professional woman, and I have an acute fear of death that torments me regularly. I have experienced this fear since being a small girl, and waking in the middle of the night crying for my grandmother to please never die. I also would wake from horrible dreams of dying, being chased, or of my greatest fear as a child, Armageddon. I had a very traumatic childhood, which could lend to explain some of my fear. Also, i was raised in a southern baptist church (hell, fire, and brimstone) and stopped attending church regularly in my teens. Occassionally I will go to church now for Easter or Christmas with my Quaker stepmother and her family.

In college, I began to question my taught religion, and started asking questions that still remain unanswered. It seems the more I educate myself, the more difficult it is to believe in anything. I have always talked to God, and told myself and all those who ask about my religion, that "I have a personal, singular relationship with God". But now, I feel like I have been fooling myself. I trusted the bible as the word of God, but after learning about the similarities of the bible's contents and the similarity between stories from other religions, I became skeptical with the book that has been rewritten and recopied for thousands of years....who knows who's opinion I am taking for the word of God? And with the corruption in organized religion, I don't know who to trust anymore for help. Now, with all this in mind, I have experienced an overwhelming fear of death frequently, that sometimes results in a panic attack. I can be alone, or at a musical concert, the thoughts of not existing any longer, of not knowing what is waiting on the other side, of burning in hell for eternity for not asking forgiveness for selfishly taking the last of the cake, all of it, overwhelms me. I feel so very lost. Can you send me some word of comfort, some direction, some advice for finding a path of answers for my problem? I would greatly appreciate any kind word you can send me. I understand if you haven't the time: I feel a little better just getting what I have written out.

Samantha

Dear Samantha,

With your upbringing as you described it's no wonder you are so fearful. Even though we don't think this affects us as adults, subconsciously it is what drives us. You started to do some questioning, it's something that should never stop. If you haven't delved deeper into my web site, do so... study the lessons, follow the many links, read my books (Through the Tunnel, Sitting in the Lotus Blossom)and others in my bookstore. It will answer many questions and encourage you to further seeking. You will go through times of this existential angst where nothing makes sense or all seems overwhelming and meaningless but know that it is just part of the process unfolding... don't dismiss it, continue asking questions. The fear, the panic attacks are all part of it, your soul is trying to get through to you, even causing you distress, to get you to look beyond what you have been taught. If it weren't so important, your soul wouldn't be so persistent. Instead of getting caught up in feelings of dread, ask what the fear is trying to teach you. Learn to go within and seek the answers in the Silence of meditation. You may not be consciously aware you are getting the answers but you will begin to become aware of the subtle changes in your life over time. Know that God loves you whatever you believe and wants you to come to know the light that is only Love, however long or many lifetimes that takes.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

I'm tormented by fear of death

Hi Diane,

just read about your NDE experience, I have read many cases on the subject and many books (all Moody's and a few others). The whole subject gives me great hope as I have been tormented by the fear of death for nearly all my life.

When I became a Christian, it just made things worse, I am now begining to wonder if the Bible was twisted by the Catholics, instead of being a book of hope which I believe it should be, it just ties poor mugs like me up spiritually (Heaven and Hell etc, beat you up with a big spiritual stick if you sin).

So I just want to say thanks for sharing your experience, I am by no means sceptic but it still sounds so fantastic (I just want to believe it so much) but I suppose unless it happens to you then you can't know, no matter what anyone says. But I live in hope, I have to weigh up all the testimonies and decide for myself.

One last thing, no one seems to have the answer for, why would we be put in the dark as far as the Truth is concerened ? Imagine if everyone knew the truth, I think the world would be a lot better......sometimes I think, the world leaders know more than what they say and maybe they know the truth but are too evil to allow the worlds people the freedom to enjoy it.....no money to be made from people that don't want anything material...makes me wonder...

Thanks again,

Chris

Dear Chris,

The Bible was twisted long ago. Edited to fit the times and beliefs of those in charge. The Council of Trent in the 1600's took out almost all references to reincarnation because they thought if people knew they had more than one life they wouldn't behave in this one. And on and on and on. The Bible is a great book, but so is the Koran and the Bhagavad Gita and the Torah and others. They are all good at telling us how to behave in a civilized society but is one right and the others wrong, is one better somehow? Is one the Word of God and the others from some other source? All speculation, but I think not. They are all open to interpretation. In the case of the Bible, it has been translated and retranslated and if you know anything about languages, there are no exact translations. A story passed around in several languages comes out nothing like the original. The Old Testament is a history of the Jewish people and their religious activities, not their real lives. The Koran and the Gita are about great battles between good and evil. Do a little more research and keep an open mind. If you really want to get into it, look into Astara.

You're right that unless it happens to you, it's hard to believe. But that's what the Bible asks you to do. It's a matter of faith. I believe that if it feels right to you, then it is right for you. A lot of my NDE was about remembering. Remembering that I already knew this, that this has happened to me before, that I've been here before. I think on hearing about it, it triggers a memory for people and makes it easy for them to accept. When you have to force yourself to believe something (under threat of punishment, for example), it can't be right. Before Columbus came back from the New World everyone believed the earth was flat, even though they could see the rounded horizon, they didn't want to believe it. People didn't want to accept new information because it was a long held belief. They didn't want to believe the earth wasn't the center of the universe or that the planets revolved around the sun either. The Catholic Church just recently forgave Galileo for speaking the Truth 400 years ago. Maybe the Church wants mindless believers who blindly follow whatever they say, but I don't think that's the way to solve the world's problems. It takes searching to find the truth, but even if it is never found we must continue seeking.

There are those who know these truths and keep them from the masses. It is called Power and Control. How better to maintain power than to put fear into people's minds? How better to control them than to insist that God is on their side? Haven't all wars been fought with both sides claiming God is on their side? Of course, they're right. God is on everyone's side, but there are no Choosen Ones. They trivialize God with all this nonsense. God is unlimited, boundless, and is only Unconditional Love. We are all Choosen Ones.

One theory on why we aren't born knowing the Truth is that if we did, we wouldn't learn and the only way we evolve is by trying and making mistakes and learning from them. If you look at someone who has been given everything, there isn't much to them. When you see someone who has climbed out of the worst conditions and become successful, there is someone of character. If we all knew the truth and this were a perfect world, what would we learn? Life is a mystery just like any other mystery. It is to be solved. The clues are all around us but few take the time to notice them. The natural environment shows us all the answers if we'd just take the time to observe instead of speeding by on our way to nowhere.

I believe that the reason so many people are having NDEs these days (people have been having them for ages, even 2,000 years ago, but now we have the WWW) is to wake the rest up to the truth that we don't die (only our bodies die) and that life is a continuum between the physical and spiritual world, because it is time everyone remembered that we are spiritual beings having human experiences (not vice versa) so the world will become a more peaceful place. I believe that is the return of Christ-Consciousness to Earth (not the return of Jesus) that has been alluded to in the Bible.

The answers are all inside you, Chris. Just keep looking. No matter what else goes on in you life, keep searching for the Truth. Seek and ye shall find.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

Fear of death holds me back

From a very early age I became a believer of ghosts,and spirits,and the after life.I had dreams that came true,and visions also.I was not frightened,but in the last few years,I find myself terrified of dying.I have had a lot of heartache these past few years,and I carry alot of guilt.I turned 50 in July,and suddenly I feel time is running out,and I feel the sense of failure about my life.I also fear ceasing to exist at all.I always believed before,why do I doubt now? I feel that I cant find joy in life,because I obsess about death all the time. This fear is holding me back from fixing things I want to fix.I want so much to believe what I used to believe,but now I feel I believed in fairy tales.I am so sad to feel this way.Reading your story has made me feel good for awhile....I hope what I read sinks in,and helps me move on.

JoAnn

 

Dear JoAnn,

When we put all our energy into feeling guilty, of course we'd feel life is passing us by. It is. It is also our choice. When you decide it's taken enough toll on your life, you can choose to stop. You need to start with forgiveness work and start that by forgiving yourself. God has already forgiven you, how can you do less? What is in the past cannot be changed but it can be transmuted with love. Replace the guilt with love. In retrospect look at the past through the eyes of God's love and gain a new perspective. Learn from it, then let it go and move on.

The fear of ceasing to exist comes from the ego's fear of annihilation by the Soul. We are still connected to the spirit world as children, but adults take that away from us and we gradually come to believe what we're told to believe. Then life happens and it reinforces that belief. The truth is that the Soul does not want to kill the ego, they are not really separate to begin with, they can work together as one, a synthesis of Mind-Body-Spirit. We can live happily in this world, even though we are not of this world. We are spiritual beings having human experiences, not the other way around. We come and we go, but WE do not die, only our temporary human bodies die. There is nothing to fear because there is no death. Now go fix those things!

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me.I was surprised to recieve a reply. I will read your letter over again a few times,untl it sinks in. I cant thankyou enough for your kindness.

Wishing you,and your family Health & Happiness.

JoAnn

 

Why am I scared of dying?

Dear Diane,

I am so scared of dying. Why? I havn't really figured it out yet. I do not know if you are a religious person or not, but I am. I guess maybe it is because I do not know what God has got in store for me. Also the fact that I am scared of what will happen to my body. Just to think about lying in a casket UNDERGROUND where the worms and other creatures are; that scares so bad I have these panic attacks. I do not want to have an autopsy perfomed on me period. If you will please write me and explain to me why I should not be scared and maybe what you think happens after death; I would really appreciate it. I need some help on this subject and know one seems to be able to help me accept the fact that I will dye some day.

Thanks,

Brandy

Dear Brandy,

You need to get over the idea that YOU are your body. You have a body, you exist here on Earth in a body, but that is not who YOU are. Realize that you have a body but that bio-suit is just the outfit you wear while you experiencing the physical world. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. When your body dies, YOU leave your body behind with no regrets, usually enormously grateful to be out of it and where you can enjoy unlimited freedom of movement with full consciousness of who YOU really are. What God wants you to do is enjoy every moment of your human life and return home with...

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

Dreams of Death

Dear Diane,

A couple nights ago I had a dream and my mother had died and I was incredable upset, empty, I felt like I couldn't go on. My mother is fine, healty and alive so that dream ment nothing. But every since that dream I have been fearing death for the ones I love and for me. It scares me to think that one day I will be nothing, just nothing.

I don't believe in anything, but I want to, I want to have faith because then I wouldn't be scared. I browse through the internet and a read about near death experiences and think that it is a comforting thought, but I still don't believe. I am so scared that I can't consintrate, and spend all my time looking for answers. I need help, and a little faith, what do you recomend? Do you fear death? What makes you believe so strongly? Have you met anyone who has feared death as much as I seem to? Thanx for your time.

Sincerely a highschool Student,

Susan

Dear Susan,

Don't be too literal about interpreting dreams. A dream such as this one could signify the separation of you (personality) from your mother, meaning in our teenage years we realize that we are not a duplicate of our parent but a separate, individualized person so there is a certain death and a mourning process to go through. In some cases, it leads to rebellion where the child rejects everything about the parent or arguments between parent and evolving adult as to what he or she can and cannot do, but it doesn't have to be a violent break if you have parents that remember their own teenage years.

Fear of death is something everyone goes through at different times in their lives, sometimes being triggered by the death of loved ones or violence on the news, other times it seems to come out of no where. Even religious people experience fear of death because they don't really understand what they believe. The truth is that there is no death, except of the physical body. Conscious life goes on after the physical body dies in other dimensions of reality. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, not human beings who have spiritual experiences. Even scientists are beginning to recognize that there is more to the universe than physical matter. I suggest you read as much as you can about different belief systems starting from the earliest cultures and study to have an understanding of physics. When you put it all together you too will realize the life is a continuous process of evolution from the spiritual to the physical to the spiritual and so on.

Having died, no, I don't fear death. I look forward to my transition but am not anxious to rush into it. I know that this life could be over before I take my next breath but that doesn't cause me any fear because I know it is a beautiful experience. It causes me to remember to tell my children I love them every day and to live each moment to its fullest so that I don't leave with any regrets about things I should have said or wished I'd done before my life was over. My mother is 82 and will be making her transition soon. Certainly I will miss her but I know she'll be much happier when she can get out of her failing body and become whole again on the other side.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

 

Panic Attacks Over Fear of Dying

Dear Diane,

I am a 34 year old mother of two, fairly healthy ( I have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since 1987) I am a Christian and believe the Bible is God inspired and that what it tells me about death and dying are true. The problem is I suffer with depression and anxiety and with that, overwhelming thoughts of myself or family members dying. I feel quilt because it seems as though I have a lack of "faith." I wake up thinking about dying and go to sleep thinking about it. I can't do ANYTHING without thinking is this the day I will die? I am no longer working because of the panic attacks I have and I have a hard time being productive during the day because I am in fear all the time. I am under a doctors care and in no way suicidal. I am not sure of your beliefs (spiritual,) but as a Christian could your experience help me? I look forward to your reply.

Kate

 

Dear Kate,

I suggest you read more NDE stories, many of them are by Christians, to reassure yourself. I'd guess you are like most religious people who accept what they are told but don't really believe it. They will tell you to have faith, because they can't prove anything, and that doubt is a weakness, but doubt is telling you that what you've been told to believe doesn't fit-- isn't right, and should lead you to further seeking for the truth. Your anxiety and panic stem from fear of the unknown. There is nothing to fear because we do not die.

The Bible may well be God-inspired, but God didn't stop inspiring, nor just start inspiring, 2,000 years ago. And there is always a deeper meaning in its words to inspire us to further understanding. This I realized during my NDE during which it all made perfect sense. I won't tell you anything that can't be found in the Bible-- if you can draw the deeper meaning from the words. Kate, there is no death. Only our bodies die. We simply step out of them when they no longer serve us and go on with our lives in full consciousness, finally remembering who we really are. We have a body, but we are not this body. We are in the world, but not of it. This is Jesus' message. He said that we can do all that he could and more.

The best thing we can do, knowing that we may well die before we take our next breath, is to live life to the fullest in every moment. When our body ceases to function, we are quickly filled with the overwhelming, unconditional love of God and have complete understanding of All That Is. Yet there is little joy at that wonderful moment in having regrets that we didn't live our life to the fullest because we feared something that wasn't real.

Learning meditation would be very helpful to overcome depression-anxiety-panic attacks. Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening to God. You will meet God in the Silence of your mind and find the answers you are seeking. Knowing that you do not die and nothing can really hurt you, will help you battle the demons that you have conjured up from the religious dogma you have accepted. The demons are not real, only God's Love is real.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

How can I overcome my fear of death?

In order to overcome any fear, you need to change your attitude about that which you fear. We form a concept about a thing based on past experience and/or knowledge about the thing and if there is a strong emotional charge attached to it, the feeling will be very strong. But we can change our minds about how we feel about things or put them in proper perspective so they don't keep us from living our lives fully and with joy.

Think back on your life and remember your experiences with death: what your religion has taught you about death, what friends and relatives have expressed about death, what books you have read or movies you have seen that influenced your thoughts, how the news media has portrayed death, dream sequences that stand out, until you come to understand how you came to fear death and what it is exactly that you fear. Knowing that, you can examine the fear in new light.

For some it may be that what they really fear is ending up alone in a nursing home as a vegetable, and this is a very real concern. In this case, the person needs to work on their family relationships or get involved with some group who will be there for them when the need arises, even if it means swallowing their pride and asking forgiveness. Making your own plans and decisions while you are still competent, allows you to remain in control no matter what else happens.

For some their real fear may be that what they have believed all their lives isn't true. This can be like having your foundation pulled out from under you and falling into the abyss. Yet this happens to us everyday and has throughout history, where new knowledge has forced us to change our thinking about how the world works, which in turn changes our belief systems. People were put to death for espousing ideas that contradicted the established ways (Galileo, Copernicus, Socrates, Jesus) even though they were right. We live in a changing universe and as it is above, so it is below. Always keep an open mind, but be discerning about what is truth. Don't be so fixed in your thinking that new information is rejected out of hand, don't throw the baby out with the bath water. New knowledge deepens understanding of old truths. It may be that what you have always believed is true but now you see it in a different light which will strengthen your belief system.

We would all like to believe that we see our loved ones again after death and many fear death because they are afraid they won't. From my experience, I believe that we do get to see our loved ones, at least in the early stages of our transition and on the lower spiritual planes. It helps us adjust to this drastic change in our reality. But ultimately we are spiritual beings and the way we conceptualize reality in the physical world doesn't help us relate to the higher spiritual dimensions where we have no shape or form or personality as we know it. Certainly, for those with whom we have experienced a strong emotional bond, we will always connect (recognize each other) on a soul level, but to try to imagine how that will be by what we know now, is impossible. However, when we reach that level of spiritual development, we have let go of our attachments to physical things and that other reality is more readily acceptable.

Others may fear that there really is no life after death, that we just blink out and that's the end of it. I believed that before my NDE. But I just can't imagine that all of this exists for no greater purpose than to be destroyed. Religions have tried to explain the spiritual world, though not very well or not so people can comprehend it relative to their life on earth. I'm sure some of those schools of thought have felt it necessary to invent a life beyond or, at least, imply there is more to life, to keep people from committing mass suicide because their lives are so senseless and hopeless. But, to me, all the answers exist all around us in Nature, not in the teachings of people with nothing better to do. Everything has its cycles of life, death and rebirth. Even a volcano can't stop life from pushing through the ashes to flourish. Even the lotus blossom is magnificent once it gets beyond the muck and the mire of the swamp. We live in a living, breathing, biological, ecological, interdependent system that has been growing and changing and evolving for billions of years. I don't see any end to it, nor to my being part of it.

Even if I hadn't had a near death experience, just observing Nature and the Universe makes me sure this isn't all there is to life, not even to my life. However, I do think that so many people having near death experiences, coupled with the advances in technology that allow us to let more people know about them (internet, email), are happening because we (collectively and quickly) need to make a quantum leap in consciousness to bring peace and harmony to earth if the human race is going to survive... indeed, if planet Earth is going to survive, and when a critical mass of people grasp the reality that there is life after death (and overcome fear of death), and life on earth is an integral part of an ongoing process, that will automatically happen and everything will be transformed into a higher vibration of light (the Second Coming, if you will).

I think we owe it to ourselves, our souls, each other, and planet Earth to overcome fear of death by staring death in the face and saying you have no dominion over me. There is no death, there is only change of life form. Accept it with peace and love when it is your time, but, in the meantime, experience everything you can while you have a body because that is why you are here.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

I'm including this response to an email from a woman who wrote to me about her extreme fear of death because my reply was returned undeliverable
(please be sure you type your email address correctly if you want a reply)

I'm glad you wrote to me about your fear of death and I hope I can help you find peace. First of all, an irrational fear or phobia usually can be eliminated three ways; one is systematic desensitization ( a gradual, increasing exposure to the feared object or situation), another is implosion therapy (sudden exposure), and then there is Rational Emotive Therapy (gathering new information and changing one's attitude). Another method gaining acceptance is hypnosis, which allows the subconscious mind to reevaluate the cause of the problem and resolve it so the fear disappears. This can also include past-life regression, which can work even if the person doesn't believe in past lives. Fear of death in this life can result from a past life in which fear of being killed was the norm, e.g., Nazi death camps or during a plague, and death resulted. A triggering event, such as your mother's death, can reactivate that imprint on the soul and the fear comes up (and seems irrational in this life). I've found that getting the person to reexperience that life and death during a regression frees them from the fear because they now realize on a conscious level that they survived that death and reincarnated.

Since systematic desensitization is out of the question and you haven't had an NDE (implosion), and I can't hypnotize you by email (!), perhaps I can give you enough information to help you change your attitude.

When I had my NDE I had never heard of NDEs and I believed, like you, that when we die, that's it. When I was ten, my eight year old sister was killed accidentally by another child. One minute we were playing, the next she was dead and gone. Also, although I had studied various religions and been a Catholic for about ten years, at the time of my NDE at age 30, I was at least agnostic. I was having a wonderful time white river rafting with some friends but we made a wrong move and in an instant I slipped out of the raft and was sucked under it. When I went under, I knew I was going to die. There was no panic, no fear, a feeling of peace came over me and I just let go. Suddenly I found myself above the river looking down at the scene of my body's death. It felt very normal. I was still me. Awareness of how it all works dawned on me and I found it humorous that I had forgotten that physical life is just a temporary experience in my whole life, which is spent mostly in spiritual dimensions. Since then, life has been more joyful for me because I'm aware it is only a temporary condition and I want to enjoy it while I have it. I don't take things so seriously and get all upset when things go wrong like I use to do. People and situations are just learning experiences for my soul.

Physical life is like taking a vacation to a soul. We go to a beautiful location, different from our usual environment, where we can forget our normal life for a short time and do all kinds of things we can't do at home. The idea is to have fun and enjoy the vacation. But then, regretfully, we have to return home to our usual lives with only memories of our vacation to earth.

I don't just not fear death, which I view as a transformation, but I can enjoy being able to experience the physical world knowing it is only for short time. There is so much to learn, so much to do, to experience, to explore, to create, to love, that I'm not anxious to return to my spiritual life, yet I look forward to it. I learned both from my sister's death and from my NDE that we can be here one minute and gone the next, so I prepared myself for my deathtime so I won't have to worry about when it might happen. In fact, I wrote a book about it (Through the Tunnel) to help others, overcome fear of death by being prepared.

It's like preparing for the inevitable "big quake" (I live in California). I have an emergency kit with extra clothes, food and water in my car and one at home. I know the evacuation routes and where hospitals are located. I have a bike for transportation. My family decided where we would all try to get to as soon as we could. We have cell phones for communication, etc. So I don't live in fear of an earthquake. I know it's coming one day and I'm prepared for it so I don't worry about it. I'll deal with whatever happens when it happens.

The same thing with death, I don't want to leave a mess for my children to have to deal with so I have all my paperwork in order and all my arrangements made. And I've prepared myself in ways I talk about in the book so that however and whenever I die, I'll know what's happening and what I need to do. I have nothing to worry about because I've done as much as I can to prepare myself and my family for it. I strongly suggest you read Through the Tunnel to help you prepare yourself so you can enjoy this life while you have the opportunity. I'm not just trying to sell a book to you, I really think the information will put your mind at ease and allow you to get on with this wonderful opportunity, called life.

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© 1996-2008 Diane Goble