near death experiences

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Email from Spiritual Seekers to a Near Death Experiencer

 

Grief

 

 

 

 

 

 

Afraid my father was alone when he crossed over grief

I was fifty years old when I lost my father in October. I am always afraid that he was alone and afraid when he went to the other side. I pray for him every night and think about how he is everyday. Do you think he is lonely for his family. I only hope that he doesn't long and cry for us as we do for him.

Please reply whenever you can.

Thanks Diane.

Laurie

 

Dear Laurie,
None of us are alone when we die. We may not have anyone near us physically but there may be a whole crowd around us on the other side waiting to help us to cross over. We may be afraid at first because we find ourselves in a strange reality and may not realize we've just "died" but that passes quickly and turns to amazement. Our (physically deceased) loved ones are all around us to comfort us and help us make the transition back to our spiritual bodies (actually energy fields).

On the other side, there is only unconditional love and the knowledge that our physical lives are just a moment in our spiritual lives. Loneliness is not experienced because from that perspective we are never really apart from our loved ones... they can see us so how can they miss us?

We are all spiritual beings having occasional human being experiences as part of our higher spiritual growth. We forget all this when we are born into the physical world as human beings in order that we may realize it ourselves. Progress on one's spiritual path is remembering who we really are and becoming both human and divine in a single human life time. There is too much still going on for us in our lives on the other side to long and cry for those still in the physical world when we know they'll be back before we know it (there is no time). And those on the other side don't want us longing and crying for them because they haven't gone any where... they are still involved in our lives. Those who don't believe that shut them out but they are always there if we call on them. They want us to have the best lives we can have while we're in the physical world... to enjoy all that there is while becoming the most loving and compassionate person one can possibly be given one's life circumstances. They can see what's happening in our lives, they attend family get togethers, they are with us in our moments of great sadness and great joy... we can't see them but we can sense their presence. For many people it helps to set a place at the table for the missing loved one... to create an altar celebrating the person's life... to display a picture and every time they notice it, not to burst into tears but to remember to say hello, how's it going up there? and chat for a moment as if they were standing there (they are). They have their lives to get on with and we have ours... while keeping each other close in our hearts.

You're in a process of grief which will last as long as it lasts. I see your father as happy and free and whole again, and that he wishes the same for you. Honor his memory by becoming the best you you can be by expressing whatever strength you gained from having been his daughter.

If this perspective helps, you'll find more reading material in my Spiritual Lessons - Conscious Dying, and my books, Through the Tunnel and Sitting in the Lotus Blossom, as well as other resources and books I recommend. How much you read depends on how deep you want to go on your own spiritual path at this time. Grief is a period that brings us all to question life and death and what it's all about... it's also a time to begin a search for answers, use this time wisely.

Peace & Joy!
Diane

 


Grieving for twin grief

Hello Diane,

Stumbled across your sight and its lovely. I recently lost my twin (23rd Jan this year) . I am totally devastated, there are no words to describe the pain I am in. 

However, I do believe in life after death and I have a strong Catholic faith which does help me to get through.

My twin sister did have an NDE experience approx 10 years ago, she was also slightly physcic. (She saw the events of the twin towers the night before in a powerful dream!)

I need all the help I can get at the moment, any ideas?

Best wishes,

Trish

Dear Trish,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I think there must be a support group for twins on the internet... there is such a strong bond between twins, it must be devastating. You two had a special communication between you and I would hope you're able to keep that going. I'm sure with her psychic abilities, she'll be doing her part on the other side to communicate with you. If you don't meditate, you should learn at least to get into an altered state enough to open a doorway for her to come through. Click here to get started. Don't expect a full out conversation, although that may happen, instead look for subtle sensual clues, even when not meditating. She is still with you and always will be, keep her in your life by acknowledging her.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Thanks for your reply Diane, will do as you say. You take Care

Best Wishes

 

Can't get over mother's death

My Mom died almost two years ago and I can't seem to get over it. I am a
spiritual person and on a spiritual path so I should be happy for her.
Also, my own health is not great these days with chronic pain and that makes
me more sensitive to everything.

Sylvia

 

Dear Sylvia,
Grief is a strange process... hard to define, hard to explain, and it's different for everyone. This just happens to be your process and you are where you are.

It sounds like your mother's death brought up repressed fears of your own death and it's affecting you physically and emotionally. There could be a component of kundalini rising, which once recognized as such, you can learn to work with and control the energy. This could be a past life memory trying to surface to give you information about your spiritual path. You need to go within to find the answers. Do you meditate? Be sure to read my lesson on Meditation, Chakras and Kundalini. Your mother may be one of your guides to help you understand what this fear, these emotions, these physical symptoms are trying to teach you about love and compassion for your soul's spiritual growth. Continue seeking and the answers will come to you.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Thank you for your reply. I am a born again Christian and I do pray and meditate and have my spiritual path. I'm not sure about past lives and I wouldn't know how to access one. It's important to focus on this life. I have always been loving and very compassionate so I don't think that is the lesson. But thank you for writing to me and your comments. I had all this chronic pain before my Mom got sick and died and that was after severe heartbreak which probably brought it all on. Now it's to get rid of it all. But I do give it to God and speak positive healing words. I will try tomeditate more. Again, thanks.

Sylvia

Searching for peace of mind

This letter is going to be straight to the point. I grief over the lost of my 33 year old son. I lost him May 24,2002...I have not read your experience as of yet...I have read much about death and the after life since the death of my son...I search and read and look and hope that maybe somewhere I will find the one word, one experience, one anything that will give me peace in knowing my son is alive and well in the after life. I have always believed that God is, but find since my son left is it harder for me to have a complete knowing that there is life after death....Well this email may just be another death end for me...but I try it all...just hoping and praying that some where I will receive what I am looking for..Thanks for reading...Signed: Pearl

Dear Pearl,
I hope you have read my experience by now and other experiences shared by visitors to my site, and that you have found some peace from them since that is the whole purpose of my web site. The death of your son is a challenge to your belief system and it is through your grief that you will reach a new understanding of God and our souls' purpose in living and dying... with the guidance of your son from the other side. Be still and listen to your inner voice.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Thank you Diane, for taking the time to reply. I will be still and listen to my inner voice. Thanks again...Pearl

 

I don't feel my son around me


Hello-
I lost my only child, my 14 year old son, in March to a sudden death illness. He was fine one moment and literally within an hour and a half was gone completely from our lives. It has been extremely hard for myself and my husband to find joy in the life we've been forced to now live.

I wondered about hearing from him and if I could do anything myself to be more susceptibly to a message. I don't need much, I just want to know that he is fine....We often told him we loved him - he always knew that we did...but with such an unexpected loss - I just wish for one more time to tell him and even though I tell him all the time now, it's just not the same and I feel the need to "talk" TO him once again. The pain of missing him in his physical form is huge- his wonderful laugh, his good and kind heart, his...everything!

Although before he passed I was fairly sure that we go on in spirit to a wonderful place...and that our lives are perhaps mapped out by ourselves before we come to earth, and maybe this was part of a "lesson" I was to learn. It is hard to keep the faith when your world falls apart...as a mother, I am a bit shaken and feel a need to hear from my son myself.

I've read about so many people and their experiences and having been able to have contact with a loved one...I wonder what I am doing wrong. I haven't "felt" a thing and I am broken hearted.

I talk and pray to him (my son)....although I don't sit and wait to hear from him, I don't feel I am only concentrating on it. I am living my life as best I can, still it is my dearest hope.

thank you for your time...

Lorelee

Dear Lorelee,
I'm so sorry for your heartbreak... losing a child has to be the hardest thing a human being has to endure. I can assure you that your son is alive and well on the other side, and that he is with you often trying to comfort you but faith alone is not going to help someone like you. You doubt your beliefs because your son doesn't appear before you and your doubts cloud your mind so he's not able to get through. I'm going to suggest you read over the Meditation Lesson on my site and practice stilling your mind (without any expectations). This isn't somthing that happens in a day but the more you practice, the quicker it will happen. After a while, I suggest you use something of his to focus on, to bring his energy in... could be a favorite picture or a personal item or something that holds memories for you and him. Meditation will help you become more intuitive and able to notice things you might usually miss because you weren't paying attention before (pictures turned or knocked over, pennies on the floor, a book lying open to a certain page). Most visitations are very subtle, you get goosebumps for no reason, a chime sounds when there is no wind, a butterfly lands next to you, you keep seeing something that reminds you of your son, lights or electronic things act strange. Full maniestation is very difficult, sometimes one hears their voice calling their name, but mostly we feel a presence around us when they are with us. Another thing to consider is that they go on with their lives on the other side with other family memebers who have crossed over, doing all the things they loved to do while here and more, and can't just drop everything and come when we call, so be patient but don't make it your full time job because you also have a life that continues and requires your participation. You will be with your son again, he sends his love and hears your prayers, and he will be there to greet you when it is your turn to cross over.

Reading my book, Through the Tunnel, will help your understand what your son went through during his transition. It is a journey filled with joy and wonder where we find peace in God's overwhelming love upon our return to our spiritual home.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

 

How do I cope with the saddness?

I would like to know if you have suggestions on how to move on...
After being divorced for more than 15 years I met this wonderful man (not a perfect, but just what I needed: a loyal, loving, caring, honest, clever, and interesting man).
I felt loved for the first time in my life and I am 52 yrs old.
We were together for only 5 yrs
I know that time will help heal the wound but I need some help in coping with the sadness and how much I miss him.
Any suggestions?

The best way I know to deal with grief is to do something that honors that person's memory, something in their name that they would be proud of and proud of you for doing. Your loved one will be close to you while you're doing it and you will feel his presence around you, comforting you, supporting you. You may find yourself becoming so involved in making something happen that the sadness will lift and turn to joy, if only for a few moments at a time. It will see you through to the other side of grief where you will see more clearly why he had to go and you had to stay until it's your time and you are together again on the other side.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Does my husband forgive me for not telling him he was dying?

DEAR DIANE.
I HAVE BEEN READING YOUR EXPERIENCE AND OTHERS ON THE WEBSITE. 
YOU MAY FIND THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS, BUT HERE IN THE UK I FIND IT DIFFICULT FOR ANYONE TO ANSWER SPECIFIC QUERIES REGARDING THE AFTER LIFE.


I LOST MY HUSBAND, FRIEND AND LOVE OF MY LIFE JUST 10 WEEKS AGO. IT IS
STILL VERY PAINFUL, I WAS WITH HIM WHEN HE DIED, ALTHOUGH HE DID NOT APPEAR TO BE CONCIOUS, BUT HUNG ON IN THIS LIFE UNTIL I RETURNED TO THE WARD BEFORE DRAWING HIS LAST 4 BREATHS., MY HUSBAND HAD CANCER AND WOULD NEVER GET BETTER I WAS TOLD.


WHAT WORRIES ME IS THAT I AND OTHERS KEPT THE TRUTH BACK FROM HIM (ALTHOUGH HE MUST HAVE HAD A VERY GOOD IDEA, HE WAS A VERY INTELLIGENT MAN), WE DID THIS TO SPARE HIM BECAUSE WE THOUGHT HE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO COPE KNOWING JUST HOW LONG HE HAD TO LIVE. HE DID NOT WANT TO DIE, HE SAID HE HAD TOO MUCH TO DO IN THIS LIFE , AND HE DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE ME BEHIND OR OUR SONS.


NOW WHAT BOTHERS ME IS THAT HE HAS NOT TRIED TO CONTACT ME, AND I AM WORRIED THAT HE NO LONGER LOVES ME AND PERHAPS DOES NOT FORGIVE ME FOR TELLING SUCH LIES ALTHOUGH THEY WERE TOLD WITH GOOD INTENTIONS. AT THE MOMENT I AM AT THE STAGE WHERE I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT HE HAS GONE AND LEFT ME, BUT I KNOW THAT HE WAS IN SUCH PAIN THAT I PRAYED THAT IF HE WAS NOT GOING TO GET BETTER, AND I KNEW HE WAS NOT, THEN I PRAYED TO GOD TO TAKE HIM AND GIVE HIM FREEDOM FROM THIS ROTTING BODY. HE LOVED LIFE SO MUCH AND MANY PEOPLE NOT JUST HIS OWN FAMILY MISS HIM TO SUCH.

I AM TRYING TO DO THE THINGS WE WERE GOING TO DO HAD HE LIVED, ESPECIALLY TO THE FAMILY HOME. I ASK HIM ALL THE TIME TO COME TO ME AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO NEXT, BUT I DO NOT GET ANY ANSWERS. HOWEVER LAST FRIDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME I HAD A SORT OF DREAM AS I WAS SEMI CONCIOUS AT THE TIME NOT QUITE ASLEEP. IN THIS DREAM HE
WAS PUTTING A WATER RESISTANT COATING ON THE HOUSE AT THE FRONT, AND I WAS SHOUTING HIM IN FOR TEA, HE TOLD ME HE HAD THS TO DO AND WOULD JUST FINISH OFF. I NOW TAKE IT THAT THIS IS WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO NEXT, SO I WILL. HOWEVER I AM NOT QUITE SURE THIS WAS HIM CONTACTING ME.

I AM GOING TO SEE A MEDIUM AND WILL TRY TO FIND OUT WHY HE IS NOT CONTACTING ME. WE WERE VERY GOOD FRIENDS AS WELL AS HUSBAND AND WIFE, AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH. NONE OF US CAN BELIEVE HE HAS GONE. IN FACT I TALK TO HIM ALL THE TIME. I TELL HIM WHAT IS GOING ON ETC THOUGH I WONDER IF THEY ALREADY KNOW THOSE WHO ARE BEYOND THE VEIL.. DO THEY KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS LIFE ON EARTH, AND WHY DO THEY NOT CONTACT US? WILL MY HUSBAND WAIT FOR ME? WE USED TO SAY THAT WHICH EVER ONE OF US WENT FIRST FROM THIS EARTH, WE WOULD WAIT, BUT READING YOUR MESSAGES I GATHER THAT EVERYONES SOUL IS FREE, AND I FEAR THAT HE WILL NO LONGER WISH TO KNOWME, THAT HE WILL BE FREE TO DO WHAT HE WISHES AND IT MAY NOT INVOLVE ME, AND AT THIS PRESENT TIME I STILL LOVE HIM,. BEYOND THE GRAVE. WILL HE STILL FEEL MY LOVE FOR HIM. ALSO I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF SPIRITS SURROUNDING ME AND TAKING CARE OF ME, IS THIS TRUE? PERHAPS I WILL KNOW MORE WHEN I SEE THE MEDIUM. I WAS TOLD ABOUT MY HUSBANDS DEATH BY THIS MEDIUM, AND I WAS TOLD THAT HE WOULD WAIT FOR ME AND THAT HIS MOTHER WOULD BE THERE TO RECEIVE HIM. I TRULY BELIEVE THIS AND I HOPE THAT HE IS VERY HAPPY BUT I ALSO HOPE THAT HE WILL NOT FORGET ME HIS WIFE OR HIS SONS AND OTHER CLOSE RELATIVES WHO ARE ALL MISSING HIM SO VERY MUCH NOW. CAN YOU HELP ME?
REGARDS
PATRICIA.

 

 

Dear Pat,
I'm sorry for the loss of your husband but rest assured that he is whole and healthy and watching over you. He is still with you even though he may be having trouble letting you know that. It's more likely that he is trying his best but you are dismissing his attempts. They are often so subtle, we miss them. Your dream is an indication that he is working on it and is helping you to get on with your life (paint the house and do other things he never got around to doing). But remember that he has his life to get on with too while he continues to be your guide on the other side. He will be there to greet you when it is your time to return home.

People who are dying, know they are dying even if they don't express it. You two were so close that the words weren't needed. A dying person visits the other side, has visitations from relatives who are waiting to help them cross over and starts the life review process before they leave their body. Even though they may not express it to others, can barely find the words to express what they are experiencing, they are aware of what is happening. Your husband understands now that your intentions were good in keeping information from him and there is nothing to forgive. He obviously waited for you to be there before he passed so you could have that last moment together and he heard everything you said to him (hearing is the last sense to go). His love for you will never die, that is yours forever. Even if you live here for many more years, it is like a second to those on the other side.

I hope the medium is able to confirm all this for you. Always talk to him as if he were there because he will be.
Pece & Joy!
Diane

DEAR DIANE.

MANY THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY.
YOU GIVE ME HOPE, AND I SHALL REMEMBER THAT YOU WHO ARE SO FAR AWAY FROM THE UK GAVE ME THIS HOPE.
MANY THANKS.
REGARDS
PAT.

Does he know I'm thinking about him?

 

I just lost my brother Michael on August 19, 2002, Since the day he died, I can't help but wonder, is there something better after we die. Before he died we had discussed death due the the fact that my brother was a very spiritual person, but I don't really know if it makes sence that we go on to a better place. I hope that there is something more, but I just dont know. There are days when I think definitly and then there are days I think when your dead your dead. In reading all the articles I think there has got to be something.

Coming to turms of Michaels death is hard, he is the first person I have ever lost to death and it was a little bit unexpected, I hope he is somewhere and he knows I am thinking about him. THanks for listening...

Dear Erin,

That is what spiritual seeking is all about. When someone close to us dies, we have the opportunity to question everything we ever believed. Just being able to put your questions into words is a start. Now you need to start reading everything you can get your hands on, talking to others about their thoughts, read up on different religions, become familiar with what's going on in the field bridging the gap between science and spirit, learn to meditate and allow all this new information to mix with old information. Out of the chaos will come an ordered universe, a world view that brings you peace of mind. If you don't find peace of mind, there is more work to be done. It is a dynamic process that goes through common cycles of learning, integration, new world view, stagnation, questioning, more learning, further integration, a broader wold view, and so on.

Your brother knows when you are thinking about him. It may be in the silence of meditation that you will know he is thinking about you and helping you sort all this out from the other side. Think about what he told you about his thoughts about death and that will bring his energy closer to you. Then it will be real to you. Think of him as your guide on the other side.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

It must have been his spirit

Diane,

I had an experience when my father passed away recently that I can't "get out of my head".

He was moved from a cancer hospital to a hospice house in the afternoon hours. Most all of our family came by to see him; he was not responsive to anyone. They were giving him pretty large doses of pain meds.

My mother told my brother and his wife, and my husband and myself that she was going to stay the night with him. I asked if she minded if I stayed too; she said yes I could stay.

My mother and I fell asleep late that night; the next morning I heard a nurse come in to check on my dad; I saw her walking away and I thought he had passed but he hadn't. I sat down with my mother for a few minutes then got up and stood at his bedside holding his hand and telling him how much I love him. Just a few minutes later something told me to get my mother up. I told her to come and stand where I am and hold his hand. She did and I moved to the other side of his bed. I took his hand again.

Within minutes he passed. What we both saw was so overwhelming. When he passed we saw this sort of swirling smoke go up. We truly did see something go up! When this happened we were of course very upset but also calm at the same time. We didn't call the hospice nurse. We both laid down together where she had slept and held each other. We didn't even talk for about 30 minutes or so. But, we both saw this happen and we both felt such calm inside.

Has anyone ever experienced this before and what was it? I think it must have been his spirit, I think he waited for the touch of both of us. I miss him terribly. I think this was his last special gift to us.

Do you have any feedback for me on this?

Thank you.....

 

Dear Terri,

Yes, there are many similar stories. The wisp of smoke is a sign of the soul leaving the body and is often witnessed. Very often a dying person chooses to die when a certain relative gets there, or certain people are in the room, or when they are left alone. Even if they are comatose or heavily sedated. This was his special gift to you and your mother. Something didn't tell you to get your mother up, it was your father. It is often the most spiritual moment in our lives to be with a loved one at the moment of death. Your father hasn't gone anywhere, he is still with you, whenever you think about him, talk about him, ask for his help, he is there... just the other side of a veil.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Diane,

thank you so much for your response. This morning I actually thought about the message I had sent to you and if I would hear from you. I'm sure you are extremely busy but I do have a question I should have asked before. I know there are a lot of books out there to read on this subject; but, is there one that you could recommend that would best fit me and this experience? It was a pleasure to hear from you!

Terri

 

Dear Terri,

Go to my bookstore under Death & Dying, I would suggest Final Gifts written by two hospice nurses about what they witnessed with dying patients... also The Grace in Dying in which Kathleen Singh describes the psychological and spiritual transformations experienced by the dying... and there's my book, Through the Tunnel, which describes the process of dying.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

Do animals go to Heaven?

Dear Diane,

I have not had an NDE or know of any one who does, but I wanted to email you with questions because I had to put to death my beloved dog, Nikko in August, and just three days ago, my friend who is a young married mother of two was killed by robbers in the bank that she works in. I am still in shock over the senselessness of my friend's death, and I am still grieving so much for my dog Nikko. You mentioned seeing animals in the new place after you burst through the light. I want to know if I'll see my dog Nikko again and will I spend eternity with him. I love him so much and miss him so much. Is he happy in heaven now?

My mother says animals do not go to heaven, at least that's what she's been taught in her church. I do not want to believe that. I believe that if God made Nikko, and Nikko's soul is part of God, then he must be back with God. Perhaps I just want to hear that from someone who has experienced the world beyond.

I know from reading the many accounts of NDE's that there is supposed to be a purpose for everything that happens. It is so difficult to fathom the purpose of my friend's two young boys losing their mother so early. The older son is four and the younger son is only two and a half.

I am grateful for people such as yourself who are able to share your experiences. I find solace in reading these experiences, yet because I have never had anything so amazing happen in my life, I simply can only hope that we do get to experience the total love and happiness that you describe as do all the other people with NDE's describe.

I look forward to hearing from you. I will be so grateful in this time of my life. I need to know that there is something after this.

Thank you,

Esther

 

Dear Esther,

I saw animals during my experience but this is the instruction I received. On the spiritual planes, we are able to create whatever we think about, what we deeply desire. Not like on the physical plane where we have to make or build a thing. My interpretation of that is whatever images of people, animals, places or things we have impressed on our consciousness from our physical lifetimes, we will be able to recreate on the spiritual planes. When it comes to our favorite pets, we create them on the other side to be with us, but animals are part of group souls, not individual, as we are so it's not the same process.

There is a woman on Animal Planet who is a pet psychic and she seems to be able to contact pets on the other side and on Crossing Over (SciFi channel), John Edward often brings up pets who are with other family members on the other side (both are psychic mediums). So there is more hope that we will be with them again. Suggest you watch those shows and make up your own mind.

Rarely does anyone's death make sense to us and it always causes someone pain, but there are reasons these things happen, even if we never know the whys. But it seems we grow the most through painful experiences. We only think in terms of this life but these things are based on experiences over many lifetimes. When you can begin to look back, not only over your own life, but over many of your lifetimes, you begin to see patterns... a picture will emerge that explains everything that happened before and what you need to do next. It's a lot like putting a jig saw puzzle together, the more pieces you have connected, the better you can see the whole picture. The Bible asks us to trust, to have faith that there is a God, there is a plan, and, if you just have patience, it will be revealed to you. And that's pretty much what I'm telling you. Be grateful to God you have this opportunity to experience life in a physical body on a physical planet, a beautiful one at that! You're here to learn, to enjoy yourself, to love, to be happy, to become all that you can be while you're here. Once you're back on the other side, you'll understand the whys... but you wouldn't learn what you came here to learn if you had all the answers to begin with.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Will I see my pet in the after life?

Hello Diane,

I have found your email address on a web site and I decided to send a mail to you.

A few weeks ago, one of my cats died. I found her lying in the street, most probably she has been hit by a car; her name was Lisa. That event has changed something in my life: I have started to think about death and "what comes after".

I am not Catholic, nor I believe in God, in any form.

Personally I believe that if there is "something after the death" it must not be limited to human beings: animals also can feel and give love, so perhaps also them will somehow survive.

From a more rational point of view, I think that we have given to that cat

What I would like to ask to you, is if you have heard anything NDE experiences in which people have seen or perceived animals in the so-called "after-world".

My question may appear silly... But it would be important for me to know something more. I hope you could say me something.

Thanks,

Paolo

Dear Paolo,

Perhaps this story will help...

Just this side of Heaven . . . is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.

--Author Unknown

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Agonizing over daughter's death

I lost a daughter in a drowning almost 6 yrs. ago.  She was 17yrs old.  We think it was done to her purposely. I have agonized over how afraid she was and what she went through drowning. And, if I can find out if this person(one of her girlfriends) did this on purpose.  My daughters name is Elizabeth Anne and she was very beautiful inside as well as on the outside.  She has come to her Dad many times.  I was wondering if you could help me because it is very hard living without her.

Carol

Dear Carol,

When your daughter comes to her father, does he get the feeling she is at peace? As humans we don't understand these things, but once we leave our bodies, it all becomes perfectly clear, we have complete understanding. That doesn't do those of us who are left behind much good, we're left with confusion, anger, grief, but knowing that our loved one, no matter how they died, is at peace can help us let go and move on. While what happens preceding death may be agonizing, when we leave our body we are enveloped in peace and love and the overwhelming presence of God. Drowning is not a horrible way to die, given the choice, I would take it again.

Your thoughts about another person doing this on purpose may or may not be justified. It may just be a thought-form you've developed from being unable to cope with the grief of losing your child this way. Either way, it keeps you from finding peace. I recently saw a TV magazine story about a woman who befriended her daughter's murderer in prison. At first it was confrontational but then she began telling him about her daughter and now it has become a deeply spiritual bond between them, and she has been able to forgive him. Forgiveness is one of the most important lessons we have to learn while we're here and it is your challenge, regardless of this other person's responsibility, to forgive and break free of this bond forged through grief. You can do it by doing something to honor your daughter's memory as we see many people who have lost loved ones do (the mother who began MADD, the father who got pictures of missing children on milk cartons, etc.). Those who have lost children are able to resolve their grief by doing something positive so that it never happens again.

I empathize with what you're going through. When I was ten, my eight year old sister was accidentally killed by a friend of the same age, and I saw what my parents went through. It was a terrible tragedy and I don't think either of them ever got over it. The funny thing was that I played with my sister alone in the waiting room while her body lay dying in the ER and I always knew that she was all right.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

Loss of a Sibling and the Mother's Grief

Dear Diane,

My younger sister was killed three months ago in a terrible accident. She was hit by a very old man driving a mini-van while she was riding her bicycle back from school. He never even stopped until he hit a telephone pole. Before this happened I had begun a search for more meaning in life. This has made me have serious doubts. I know it is because I am lost in grief and depression.

My sister was one of those rare individuals who had achieved a higher level while alive. She had accepted herself for who she was. She accepted her faults and then did everything she could to overcome them. She was truly selfless and was always thinking about, caring, and loving others, especially her family. She made the people she met want to be better people, even though she was only 23 years old. Many students drove 5 hours to her memorial service and told me of her influence on them. She made people look at life differently. You could not know her and then be satisfied with yourself.

I do not understand what happened. I am still in denial over it. Mainly I do not understand why she had to go now. She would have made such a difference in so many people's lives, simply by being herself, by being an example of what we should all strive for. Don't we need more people like that? What is the point of her being gone? This doesn't bring my family closer, we were already the closest family I have ever known. It doesn't necessarily make us want to go out and do things, because we can't help but think that we would have been more effective if we were whole. She would have continued to help people - her fiance, her friends, the world through her research, the students she would have taught. It is impossible to make up for her absence because she was able to change and help people simply by being, she didn't have to try or work at it.

I have always searched for knowledge and I have to believe that eventually that will be the best course for myself. However, I am also torn because this is destroying my family, especially my mother. She has always been emotional in the sense she has little control over them and this has almost sent her over the edge. She feels she was personally sought out, that it's her fault because Melissa didn't have a car. She blames God for taking her. She says she will never be happy again. She doesn't care about anything. She says she doesn't believe in anything anymore. She wants to know why this happened and I don't know what to tell her because I don't know why. I think she needs professional counseling but she won't go. Any attempt to try and get her help makes her claim we are trying to make her forget Melissa.

You seem to have reached a sense of peace about death. Have you dealt with people who have been devastated like this? Do you know what helps? I don't know what to do because I have many of the same feelings. It is difficult enough for me to try and fight them in me. I don't even want to admit to my mother that I have the same feelings because I'm afraid it will validate them for her. Any suggestions you have will be deeply appreciated. Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely, Andrea

 

Dear Andrea,

Whenever I hear a story on the news about someone who has been accidentally killed, when they interview the people who knew that person, they always seem to say what a wonderful, kind, loving person they were and that they didn't deserve to die. And then there's that old saying "Only the good die young." It makes me wonder if those of us who are left are the ones that still have work to do here. Or as some people insist, life on earth is hell!

When I was 10, my 8-year old sister was accidentally killed. My mother blamed God and basically lost any faith she had. I don't think my father ever recovered. I feel that if one loses their faith in God over something like this, they need to rethink their belief system. God is not in control of our lives or deaths, God is simply Love; the rest, we make up. I thought my sister was the good one and I was the bad one, so I didn't understand why she died instead of me. From our human point-of-view we just can't understand the reasons for any of this, none of who dies/who lives makes sense. First of all, realize that your sister didn't die, only her body died.

During my NDE, I was able to step out of my human POV and understood how it all made sense. Trying to explain it now, however, is very difficult because non-NDErs can't make the leap it takes to see life and death as one continuous process where there is no beginning and no end, no separation and no loss. We have a body, but we are not our body.

I can tell you what I understand and only hope that it broadens your perspective and helps you see that it all does make sense on a higher level. We (our Soul) decides before its human birth what it wants to learn in each lifetime and chooses to be born into a family that will teach it what it needs to know. The length of time we stay in each life is not precise (no predestination) but rather a window, as myself and many other NDErs reported that we were told it was not our time to die, therefore I assume when someone dies, it is within their time frame.

From your description of your sister, it sounds like she learned what she came to learn through this family, and taught a great deal to each of you and many others. That was her path in this life and her mission was completed. Her graduation back to her spiritual home allows her to continue her work through others, both with what she left behind and how she will influence you in the future. Just as my sister is one of my strongest guides. Now it is up to those who are left, to increase their awareness of her presence in their lives. The downside is that our human emotions get in our way and block any information they may be trying to convey. When we allow our grief to shut our minds to the subtle messages of the Soul, we fail to grow and fulfill our own mission. Your sister has gone before you to lighten your load and is there if you will just listen to the Silence. I can't stress enough the importance of learning to meditate to receive guidance and tap your inner resources.

For your mother, all of this may be too much for her to consider at this time. My suggestion is that there is a group called Compassionate Friends for parents who have lost a child. Get in touch with them and get some information to give to your mother. If you find a local chapter, ask them when and how best to approach your mother. Her reluctance is understandable and a normal reaction. A near-death experiencers group I attend is often visited by people who have lost children and they find some comfort in hearing our stories, so the Int'l Assn. of Near-Death Studies (IANDS) is another group to contact for information about local support groups. It may be too soon for your mother to go to a group, but at least you will have the information when she is ready. Believe me, no one knows the pain of a parent who loses a child.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Your story helped me

Dear Diane:

I cannot begin to tell you what your story has meant to me. I have lost so many family members in the last several years, that I had at times unable to process the losses.

I found myself actually breaking out into a joy filled gasp, when I read the part about "the other world". You described what I have always hoped it would be. Both of my parents were killed in an automobile accident on a Christmas day... since thatday I have lost most of my extended family, and have stood by the bedside of many loved ones dying. I don't normally share how many losses there have been, for fear people will distance themselves from me.

I have been in limbo since my parents death and the proceeding ones as well. Almost afraid to love, for the fear of losing someone else.

All this to say, your site certainly came into my view at the exact time period in which I could not have needed it more. Thank you for your courage in sharing your story, and for the manner in which you decided to share it.

Sincerely,

Pamela

 

Dear Pamela,

I'm grateful my story was helpful to you. It sounds like you came into this life to help others leave it, which is a great honor from a spiritual perspective. You haven't "lost" any of them, you are surrounded by a great deal of love and you will see them all again. Please don't be afraid to love others in this lifetime, that is the real reason we are here. You have a special gift for helping others make their transition and may find hospice work very rewarding. Thank you for being there.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Dear Diane:

Thank you for replying to my message. Your timing again is more assurance of the path I need to follow. I am humbled, and grateful for your message.

Thank you, May God Bless you always,

Pamela

 

 

I Have This Need To Know

HI DIANE-- I AM CURIOUS ABOUT MY AUNT- SHE PAST AWAY A FEW WEEK AGO AND I AM FILLED W/ THIS VOID- I HELD HER AS SHE DIED AND I TOLD HER SHE COULD GO AND NOW I FEEL I BETRAYED M SELF -- I KNOW THIS MUST SOUND CRAZY- BUT I TRY TO CONTACT HER IN MY MIND??? WE WERE VERY CLOSE- I JUST HAVE THIS "NEED TO KNOW " AND I CANT FILL IT MY SELF-- IS SHE MY GUIDE -- DOES SHE TRY TO TALK TO ME---- I AM SO GLAD YOU WROTE--- I DOT HAVE ALOT OF MONEY - AND I DONT HAVE A CC # - I WILL SEND YOU SOMTHING IF YOU WISH ?? I KNOW THAT NOTHING IS FREE IN LIFE AND IM WELL AWARE OF THAT---MY BOYS AND I STRUGGLE BUT WE GET BY---(AS THE OTHER 1/2 OF THE WORLD) :) THANK YOU AGAIN FOR WRITTING------ IM WAITING FOR YOUREREPLY----- THANK YOU ---

TAMMI , & CHILDREN :)

 

Dear Tammi,

The Souls of those who were close to us in life try to stay in touch with us but it is as difficult for them to contact us as it is for us to know we've been contacted. Contact comes through the senses, but not as we might expect, like in the movies. A breeze where there should be none, an odor of their favorite perfume or food cooking, chills that run up your arm, books left open to a certain page-- that sort of thing. Visual or auditory contacts are very rare because it is so difficult. It may be more of a feeling of a presence than an actual appearance. The void you feel is a normal sense of loss but it can be filled with something to honor the one who has crossed over. You might carry on with something that you and she shared, perhaps in another way, or do something in her memory, dedicate something to her. You were right to do what you did as she made her transition and were very helpful to her. Now she is getting on with her life and wants you to do the same. Remember she didn't die, only her body died.

Many things in life are free, Tammi, including this. Life is only a struggle if you see it that way, it is also a journey to understanding God's love and along the way we experience many teachers and learning situations. Just don't get stuck in them for too long if you want to continue growing.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

Devastated by the Loss of My Mother

Dear Diane,

I have just finished reading your beautiful account of your experience with life after life. I came across your writing while exploring NDE's on the internet. I am seeking whatever reinforcement, reassurance, answers, that I can right now. I lost my mom at the young age of 65 in December 1997. I am devastated at her loss. I am heart broken at losing her beautiful presence in my life and the life of my children. She was such an incredible woman with so much love and zest that I cannot believe she is gone. I was raised Catholic and have all the religious guidelines and beliefs as such. I always believed devoutly in Jesus and the heaven which awaited us in our death. Now I am floundering. I want to know...I wait every day and night for mom to come to me and tell me she is peaceful and happy and comfort my broken heart. I have not dreamt of her yet in these past few weeks or felt her presence. I look at my dad and see the pain he is in also and feel so helpless. They were married for 48 years. Quite an accomplishment. He is so desperately lost too. How can our connection be gone? Why am I so doubtful now? Where can I find the peace I so desperately need? I have and do pray for God's peace and comfort. I have purchased so many books on life after death experiences and read all night and day long looking for answers. I do see a therapist who has helped me somewhat but I still cannot quiet my mind or heal my heart. The pain and grief are unbearable and I miss her so. I wish I could feel the peace that you have described in your experience or find a comfort in something. If you could take some time to respond to my letter, I would be eternally grateful. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely, Cathie

 

Dear Diane,

Thank you so very much for taking time to respond to my letter. What a beautiful response it was. I was deeply touched by what you told me. It truly did help me with some answers. I printed the letter out and have read it several times. I shared it with my dad also and he was deeply touched. He is having a terrible time also. Dad misses her so much. They were married 48 years. It is such a void for all of us. Her presence was just so precious to each one of us. I have five wonderful children and they too have been deeply affected by her loss because she had such a closeness with each and every one. I did have one experience that maybe I shouldn't have discounted so quickly as me being crazy. I was lying in bed a week or two ago and smelled the Bath and Body works fragrance that she wore, so strongly for about a minute. I don't wear it or have it in the house but I definitely smelled it. I didn't feel her there though. I have taken your suggestions to heart and am trying very hard to be patient with myself for fear of going crazy. I also tried to purchase your book, which I am anxiously waiting to find so I may read it, as Dad wishes to also. The one bookstore did not have it so I will faithfully hunt until I find it or maybe they can order it for me. Thank you again for your time and support. You are a truly unique person with so much to offer the world through your experience, your book, your devoted work and your generous heart and passionately kind spirit. Thank you for touching my life so deeply.

With Peace and Love to you also........Cathie

 

 

Is My Brother At Peace?

My 41 yr. old brother handsome and a marine for 12 yrs. died of an overdose this week. He began using steroids for body building at 20. He followed into prescription drug use in the service and 3 failed marriages. He sold cars for his last 12 yrs. He would lose job due to the drugs. He had many surgeries for drugs. My parents rejected him from birth. They spent all there energy on my physically handicapped brother. They punished my older one for being normal. He was not loved. After my parents separated for 20 years my mothers boyfriend sodomized my brother from 5 yrs. until the age of 12. He left at age 16 to go into the marines. My mother never confronted her boyfriend until later when she left him for other reasons. My real father was living next to us with alcohol, drug and homosexual problems. He never sent us a birthday card or child support. My mother acted as if she hated him then. My mother left us mainly with this abusive boyfriend as she went to school. She went back with my father after 25 yrs. She supports him with his drug and alcohol problem. My younger brother is now 37 and way into alcoholism. My older brother died homeless and still rejected by my parents they would not talk or see him. I'm having hard times dealing with his death, I would like to really feel he is loved, happy and at peace! Thanks for listening!

 

I realize how difficult it is for us to comprehend why anyone would choose to be born into such a family, but there is a reason even if we never learn what it is while in body. Once we leave the body, however, it all becomes perfectly clear and we are shown how we could have dealt with it better so we will know the next time around how to make the best of our situation and learn from it instead of becoming overwhelmed by it. Your brother now understands the greater plan. It is likely you will all incarnate together again in another lifetime, playing different roles, to develop a higher understanding while in body. It is all part of the process of soul development in which we sometimes have a body, but we are not that body, we are always a soul having human experiences. Now your brother's soul is happy and at peace because he knows why he experienced that lifetime and what he learned from it. Your brother did not die, only his body died, and he feels your love and sends his to you. The connection between you is even stronger now. Continue to send him your prayers.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

Thank you for your response! This is what I really want to believe. God bless you!

 

 

Will My Son Be There When I Get There?

I am a member of IANDS and have studied the NDE for years. I have a question I hope you can answer.

One of the beautiful parts of the NDE is seeing loved ones who have predeceased you. This is of utmost importance to me, after the death of my young son to cancer, 6 years ago. I look so forward to the day when i will be rejoined with him again. Sometimes, it's all I can think about. He's always there, on my mind.

However, my question is this: if reincarnation is true, wouldn't it be possible that my son would not be in "heaven" when I finally arrive? In other words, he could have opted for another go at human life and already be incarnated in another body on earth.

This seems plausible. If it is true, then I suspect most people would not see most or many of their loved ones because they would have already perhaps made return trips to earth for further growth. Have any NDEr's ever confronted this question or received knowledge about it to your understanding?

Pls comment, and thanks.

Frank

 

Dear Frank,

Not a lot of research has gone into reincarnation so it's all speculation. Having studied the Ancient Mystery Schools and Eastern religions, and done much self-study with my guides, I can only attempt a theory. First you have to broaden your understanding of being in other dimensions, it's nothing like being a human being on Earth, you just can't compare. The human being, Frank, is a temporary manifestation of its Soul, but its Soul is not Frank. When this Soul reincarnates, it does not manifest another version of Frank, but a new personality, perhaps with some of Frank's traits as well as other traits from other incarnations with which to learn other of life's lessons. On the Soul level, Frank's personality is absorbed into his creator Soul and recognizes loved ones from his lifetime as a human being at the Soul Level. So you will recognize the Soul of which your son is a part and he will recognize you-- as you remember each other from your life together as human beings, but you will have no need at the Soul Level to see each other as Frank and his son, rather as Souls with a deep loving connection. It's much easier though to say that you and your son will be together again without going into all that.

Simply put, a Spirit from the Godhead projects Souls as representations of ItSelf into lower dimensions, and a Soul projects human beings as representatives of itSelf into the physical dimension. Since I believe in a multidimensional universe of infinite possibilities, I have no trouble accepting that a Soul can have more than one human being in existence on Earth simultaneously and that each is a fragment of its whole personality.

Another theory is that Souls can exist simultaneously on many levels and are constantly involuting and evoluting across dimensions so we are constantly running into each other in different dimensions. Read Sitting in the Lotus Blossom for further exploration into the subject.

At any rate, meditate on it and hopefully something will make sense and allow you to find

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

Thanks so much for the wonderful response. It makes sense and is something I can ponder. I have always sensed/believed that life on earth is singularly dimensional (our bodies) but that our souls transcend space and time. Your explanation helps me to further believe and explore this thinking.

Thanks again, and best regards,

Frank

 

Response to Frank's email:

Hi Dianne

I was very touched by Frank's query re seeing his son again versus possibility of reincarnation before this could possibly happen. I think your response was excellent.

I ,too, shared this query since my son committed suicide some months ago.(You will already have had my email regarding this) but I wished to share the following with Frank.

After my son's death I saw him in a "lucid dream" where we hugged and kissed- satisfactory but not enough! I have been fortunate to have had many OBE's and I was naturally trying very hard ( and still am!) to obtain contact.

Some weeks ago I awoke and found myself floating down a beautiful tunnel configuration - not the first time this has happened incidentally - and I was going at great speed - fully conscious- when I suddenyl ascended and found myself in a room full of young children all giggling and happy - various things happened which are not relevant - but I was disappointed to note my son wasn't there - "Where's Murray?" I asked. The children laughed and pointed at a corner where he came out after hiding -he looked embarrassed and hesitant and much younger than his 21 years at death -in fact about 12 - I was overwhelmed and hugged and kissed him. He looked very pleased.

As you are aware emotional outbursts on this plane tend to bring this sort of visit short and so it proved. I shot back down the tunnel at greast speed and was back in my body.I wept. It was so exhilerating and poignant.

Please forward this to Frank if you think it would be of help to him( I also am a member of IANDS incidentally)

Michael

Scotland

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