near death experiences

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Email from Spiritual Seekers to a Near Death Experiencer

 

Suicide

 

 

 

 

 

I had a glimpse

 

Dear Diane,

I can't believe I found you.

Tears are running down my face because I'm so happy.

I'm in my office with the blinds open on my windows and my patrons can see me when they walk by ( I'm a Librarian ) so I'm needing to wipe while I type.

My 18 year old son, Anthony, committed suicide last November. He left me, his dad and his sister who was also his best friend. We were a very close family, we four.

Since his death, I've been reading NDE books and accounts, listening to online radiocasts from NDE experiencers, mediums - all of that; I can't get enough.

Right after he died, I think I might have had a kundalini experience. (I've only just learned what this is.) The top of my head didn't feel like it had blown off, or anything, but I had these incredible, powerful bursts of joy… It made no sense. I was supposed to be grieving - and believe me I did plenty of that.

Also, the feeling that Anthony was with God, would flow into me on occasion and sometimes the feeling that not only was Anthony OK, but he was pretty freakin' GREAT. However, I kinda wrote those off as wishful thinking.

I remember one morning laughing while tears of happiness poured down my face because I'd had this thought/worry about what other people (ok, me too) were probably thinking: 

"Well, the rules are that suicides don't go straight to God"
- and then this voice/thought came in my head that said:
"Don't worry, I break the rules all the time."

And then you know I couldn't do anything but laugh and cry for a half an hour and my husband thought I'd lost my mind.

As the months went by, the bursts went away. I was glad, believe it or not, because they would leave me emotionally exhausted.

I remember saying to my husband, "No wonder God doesn't reveal himself much, a person wouldn't be able to function in the real world if He did.

I went to a group meeting for bereaved parent's one time. I asked the group if anyone had had a feeling of joy burst in on them after their child had died.

None had, or maybe they had forgotten. Maybe I should have described it to them as an "emotional orgasm." No... better that I didn't.

Anyway, even though I'm glad the bursts (was it a kundalini?) have gone, it's left me with an insatiable hunger; a mad desire to connect with the Other Side. I also get alternate days of being thrilled that I'm alive and "Hell, what's the point of my being here?"

In a lot of ways my son's death was a gift. I am no longer afraid of the dark, evil spirits, possession (I was traumatized as a child by The Exorcist book/movie) or anything satanic. I am no longer worried about what church I go to or what theology I ascribe to. I have been freed from fear of the unknown, because my son's over there.

Your site and the fact that you read emails from folks that have had NDE's (and folks like me, I hope) shows a level of compassion and love I have not yet seen from any medium/psychic or spiritualist thus far...I mean, talk about a grass roots approach!

Your Q&A approach covers every question that I had before I had thought of them yet. "Nothing on Earth Had Prepared Me For the Reality of Life After Death" was the most profound, insightful piece of writing I have yet found in all of the NDE books I have read. I know how impossible it is to put NDE subjects in relatable or fresh terms, but I think you succeeded.

Thank you for this site.

Respectfully,

JR

 

Dear Jill,
Thank you for writing to me. It's always gratifying to know that people find my site and get something helpful out of it. It sounds like you have a wonderful connection to your son, hopefully less intense from now on, but will continue to bring you peace of mind. He may have awakened kundalini in you, which is a nudge to get you on your spiritual path (read my Spiritual Lesson on Meditation so you can begin to get it under control). I feel strongly that there is something he wants you to do as a result of all this... something to honor his life, perhaps helping others contemplating suicide.

You might want to look into the International Assn. for Near Death Studies, tell your story, read about others. They also have local groups in some areas. If you can get to a meeting, it might be helpful to others to hear your story.

I'm sorry for the loss of your son but there is a reason for things like this, even though no explanation is sufficient... some how it will be revealed to you and you will understand the why. Bless you on your spiritual path.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

 

Thank you so much. I will definitely get started on this.

Peace & Joy to you as well!

Jill

 

 

suicide Teenage Angst

 

Hi Diane,

I read about you on the website Beyondtheveil, and I think you might be able to help me.
I am 16 years old and have had..oh, about 20 suicide attempts.
I am terrified of growing up and what the future holds for me. I am always saying "were all going to die anyways, whats the point of me even being here?" Im scared of my parents dieing, my sisters, my friends, and one day my husband. what is even the point of getting close too someone when they are just going to die? 
I read ALOT about life after death and hopes that it will calm my worries but it dosent work. Im just getting more depressed by the day, and just want too end all this. i dont know where to go anymore or why im even here. I would really like too know what really does happen after we are gone? where do we go? will we see our family ever again?
your help would be greatly apperciated
-Rachelle

 

Dear Rachelle,
It's so sad that when we're young so many of us seem to feel the way you do (believe me, you're not alone). In fact, when I was 16 I felt the same way. My girlfriend and I had a suicide pact... we were going to drive off a cliff at 100 mph to put ourselves out of our misery. But we didn't, now we're both 65 and recently reconnected after losing touch for 40 years, and we can look back and laugh at ourselves back then because we realize what amazing experiences and loving relationships we would have missed if we had gone through with our plan to opt out because our teenage hormones where ravaging our brains. For me, life began after I left home at 18 and went away to college. A whole new world of possibilities opened up... until then my life had been pure misery! I can't promise you that your life will change in 2 years, but I can promise you it will change, sooner rather than later, and it will get better if you demand more out of life than being depressed about it.

The thing about being 16 or thereabouts is that our brains haven't developed enough for us to be able to reason beyond the moment so we're not really thinking clearly. Our hormones are raging, we're being pulled in 20 different directions at once, we're caught up in ourselves and our daily dramas, and we can't see outside that box... so be patient with yourself and work on getting outside of yourself. Do some volunteer work so you can see the world from other perspectives and broaden your horizons so you can see that there are meaningful things to look forward to in life... in this life. A nursing home is actually a good place to learn about life, or if you have grandparents around, volunteer to help them with chores they can no longer do and try actually sitting down over milk and cookies and asking them the questions about death and dying. They may have their own fears of dying and be grateful to have someone to talk to about it (learn to be a good listener). Us old foggies have a lot to tell the youth about the meaning of life. Sometimes it can be easier talking to our grandparents than our own parents. Just like it may be easier for you to write to an anonymous person on the internet than to talk to your own parents (who may have the same fears you do but are afraid to talk about it with their children). Please find someone you can trust, even a school counselor, to talk to about your angst. I'm not big on prescription drugs for depression or anxiety, but if you get in a really bad place it may be the only way to stabilize your emotions so you can work on getting your head in a better place. You need to bring up your fears, stand up to them, ask them what they want of you and what they have to teach you about life, thank them for getting your attention and for the strength they've given you to help you succeed in life, then let them go. They are part of you, but they are not who you are. They no longer define your life but they give you a healthy fear that keeps you from doing stupid/dumb things that could get you killed and stop you from pursuing your greater good.

You're right that we're all going to die, but the reality is, we don't die... we just step through a doorway and are someplace else where we have further work to do on our soul's journey (which is an Eternal process). It's not all about us as individuals, even as human beings... that is only part of who we really are. We are Spiritual Beings having Human Being experiences. We are in this world, but not of it. We are both Human and Divine. We come and go from this world (physical dimension), but a lifetime of 100 years as a human being is but a second, though there is no time, in the spiritual dimension. It is a whole different world view based on Quantum Physics (something you will encounter in your schooling on earth and understanding these concepts will have greater meaning for your spiritual journey in this lifetime). We really do need a good education to understand how the world works. We also need to begin to explore our inner universe to understand what our place is in it. Please look into meditation and yoga as a path to your inner journey, to calm your emotions, to clear your mind, to find inner peace. You'll find some information in my Spiritual Lessons at http://www.beyondtheveil.net/welcome.html

Near death experiencers like myself are trying our best, given the limitations of language and that people interpret words at their level of consciousness (through a glass darkly), to describe our experiences walking through that doorway, parting that veil between one dimension and another, walking into the Light, and awakening on the other side in our familiar spiritual home... to help others to understand that this cycle of life and death is an ongoing process of development. We are all involved in it, we travel through these life experiences with those we love, we are only apart for brief periods (yet still connected consciously), we are all becoming all we can be at a higher level of consciousness. Suiciders who have near death experiences say they would never try to commit suicide again because they were shown what they put their loved ones through by doing it, what their lives would have been had they not done it, how far they set themselves back on their spiritual path. They learned that this life is the important life at the moment and the troubles we are going through at the moment are just that. Life is a process of change and development. There will be good times, there will be bad times. There will be times when life doesn't seem worth living, there will be times when life is wonderful beyond words. We learn about life and ourselves in every moment we live. Life is an ongoing process in many dimensions evolving toward higher consciousness... God-Consciousness.

You are probably an advanced or old soul to be asking these questions at age 16. An old soul is one who has reincarnated many times, learned many of its lessons in its spiritual development, and is ready to evolve to a higher consciousness perspective of life at an earlier age than most. Be careful with whom among your friends you share this information (some are not ready to hear it). Much of what I've written may be over your head as well at this time but someday you will awaken to a new understanding with an Aha! and you'll want to reread it, and you will get more out of it each time you reread it. Your soul is guiding you on your journey through this life, all you have to do is pay attention. If your energy is channeled in the right direction (developing compassion for human suffering and desiring to put an end to it in the world) from this early age, by the time your brain development catches up with your greater wisdom, you will be capable of great things in this life toward the greater good for Human Kind. The kind of life that gives meaning to life and is a model for others to emulate.

You have much to do in this lifetime you have chosen to experience as Rachelle... too much to leave before you even get started! You have the Free Will to make this choice.

Peace & Joy!
Diane

Hello.
I just wanted to thank you for taking the time for writing all of this. I actually understood it ALL and it helped me a lot with my questions. You are right about my friends not being ready to hear this stuff. I used to try to explain to people my own age...but all i got was some weird looks and a "yea, whatever Rachelle." I know now just to keep this knowledge to myself. I am going to look into meditation and also astral projection, i have been wanting to try that my whole life.
again, thank you so much!
-Rachelle

 

 

I hate myself, I want to die

Hi Diane,

saw u on a web site.

I WANT to end this pain. i HAVE DEPRESSION every 4 years and want to END this cycle!!

There is hardly anything i like in me....im soooooo tired of explaining my situation and how empty my life is.

I'm Christian and believe in God.

I just cannot admit that i cannot be successful because i don't have the talent of 'public relations'.

this affects other aspects of my life and I'm ALWAYS ALONE. People counsel me and I'm on my own again.

I have a best friend but she is the exact opposite of me..totally expert in her field and public relations, best friend of everyone and the world is EVERY POSSIBILITY!!!...I despise myself soooooooooooooooooo much.........

I'm in an 'ok' situation right now. have a roof and a job. but i still hate myself..

I want to die, i see 'no hope' of a bright future....except an employee.......i want to believe 'what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve'. it's not true. some of us has talent. others....well are expected to perform less........because they're given less..............i don't have all the time in the world....i'm getting old, 26. yet act like a 6 year old.

i don't know jack except study....i seem to have this INABILITY TO INTERACT AND DEVELOP MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS...

it sucks. i don't know how to develop myself.....

i cant die...i cant live like this...i dont want to fix things superficially.....my soul is yearning to see the world and achieve myself.

can u talk to me? what have u learned about death and life? I desperately need answers fast..................................im wasting months and soon years...and more years....i can't can't do this anymore....

thank you

Zach

Dear Zach,

First you're not getting old, your life is really just beginning. You're still in the phase of figuring out what to do with the rest of your life. Sure some people know from early on what they want to do with their lives but most of us, not so. If public relations is not doing it for you, doesn't fit your personality, then you need to make some changes. I was 37 when I went back to college to change my career direction. Unless your country or your culture forces you to do what you're doing, do something else. Take some classes, even just for fun to develop (latent) interests or talents. Take some apptitude tests to find out what kinds of work you're best suited for... take some personality tests to find out who you are (an astrological profile is also a good tool for self-discovery). You'll find resources on my links page or do an internet search. You'll also find some interesting self-help tools on my Counseling page and I'll be happy to help you work through any programs you would like to try. Make knowing yourself a high priority project and spend some time on it every day. Learn to meditate and to be centered on the Source of your being. You'll get involved in the process and won't have time to be sad or depressed.

You write that you are a Christian and believe in God... what part of that tells you you are alone? If you believe God loves you and Jesus walks by your side, you are never alone. You have wise counsel with you at all times urging you to go forward surrounded by love. You need to do a deeper investigation into your belief system to discern between what you've been told to believe and what you really believe. You'll find a lot of resources on my web site to help you with your search for meaning and purpose in your life.

According to my beliefs, you (your soul) chose to come into this life as this human being to experience certain events, circumstances and relationships for your soul's spiritual growth. You are not your body, your emotions, your intellect, your job, this tortured person you think you are... you are a spiritual being having a human being experience but because you don't know this, you're frustrated with life and want to end it all rather than being excited about what you came here to learn. Christianity teaches that we are human beings who have a soul which is at the mercy of some tempermental, judgmental god. How depressing is that? As great and powerful spiritual beings having human being experiences, we are in harmony with the Universe, open to all possibilities and potentialities, living in joy. A more open, expansive way to look at life and all its facets.

Thoughts are things, Zach... you are where you are today because of what you thought yesterday... you can change tomorrow by changing your thought patterns today. A fun technique is to put post-it notes with positive sayings written on them around your house, your car, your work station, to remind you to think good thoughts.

This is just a start. Let me know your progress, what you're working on, etc.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Life has passed me by

Hi Dianne,

I really appreciated reading of your NDE. To some extent, it gives me some comfort. However, it means that once I die, I can look forward to a better existence than the one I enjoy now. It's the now that's the problem. I'm 37 years old and feel like my life has been a failure. I feel like I haven't taken as many risks or been as responsible for my life as I could have. And now the things I want for myself most - to be a singer and a fisheries biologist - seem to have passed me by. I haven't had a supportive family, and that led to a lot of depression as I felt I missed out on the chance to develop my potentials and this explains part of why I am where I am, but I have also made every mistake I could have and the chances I have taken have not worked to move me forward. Rather than being productive and prosperous, I am alone and struggling just to get from one day to the next and can't see where I have much of a worthwhile future to look forward to. Every day I think about killing myself because I can't create the me I want to be. It's too late, I'm too old and not pretty enough. I've never had much in the way of financial resources. And I feel like whatever confidence I have had has been undermined by not enough discipline or, more often, a lack of finances when the opportunity was there. I feel like my whole life is too little too late. And despite what feels like praying 24/7, I don't hear or feel the presence of God in my life. I want to have a positive outlook and be optimistic, but feel I have been betrayed so many times, I just don't have the energy to hope anymore. I honestly can't think of what I have to live for. If you have any help for me, please contact me.

Thank you.

Angela

Dear Angela,
Goodness, you sound like me when I was 37! Life sometimes just sucks, we feel like we've fallen into a deep pit and can't climb out no matter how hard we try so we give up, fall in and try to bury our self in the dirt. Welcome to the club :-)

I was 37 when I decided I had to take control if my life was ever going to change so in spite of all the odds against me, I went back to college (I was unemployed and on disability, had no money and was a single parent with 3 teenagers). You just have to make up your mind and do it no matter what it takes. You're not too old, it's not too late. College for me was easier at 37 than at 18, I wasn't distracted by boys, parties, drugs, etc. so it was easier to stay focused.

You're depressed obviously... you may need some medication to get you off the couch. That wouldn't be my first choice but if you are clinically depressed (meaning a chemical imbalance which can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist), that may be an option. Learning self-hypnosis was a great help to me (or mediation or yoga) to help you stay centered and train your mind with positive affirmations to stay above the depression-level. You have 2 goals, take baby steps. Look into colleges, check out financial aid, fill out applications, ask a lot of questions. I started back at a community college to see if I could even pass a course and later transferred to a university when I knew I'd made the right choice. You might do some singing with a choir or musical group on campus which might lead to something you'd really like. It took me 5 years to get a BA and MS and I had the best time, met some great people, learned a lot and it started me on a whole new life path.

Time to stop being the victim and take back your power. You're a spiritual being having a human being experience and you're here to learn everything you can and experience everything that interests you. Way too much to do to sit around feeling like life has passed you by.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Suicide or Prison?

I have a friend who might be facing a very lengthy prison sentence and he is likely to take his own life to avoid this. He is expected to do this in a few months, just before he goes to trial. What would your advice be? I will pass the word along to him.

Thank you, Doug

 

Dear Doug,
I would give him a copy of my book, Through the Tunnel, to read so he can prepare himself ahead of time for his transition. It's better to have a road map under the best dying circumstances, but in the case of suicide there is the Bardo journey to face (all the fears one doesn't deal with, all the harm one has done to others in this life) which is discussed in the book. Also on my links page and bookstore, you'll find stories from suicide survivors who returned to say that no matter how bad life got, they would never attempt again because they realized during their NDE that suicide was not the answer because we don't die, we take all our unresolved problems with us and we have to incarnate again to learn the lessons we didn't learn when we suicided. It's not that God rejects suiciders and sends them to Hell... God is infinitely patient with us, even those of us who are slow learners and have to repeat a grade (reincarnate). Perhaps your friend will realize this prison sentence is really the beginning of his spiritual journey... and he has a choice about which road to take.

Peace & Joy!
Diane

Is suicide wrong?

I read about your experience and after the fact you still had suicidal thoughts. Do you think your NDE stopped you from doing it, or do you feel suicide is wrong?

Jeanell

Dear Jeanell,
Actually I had another spiritual experience where I was offered a choice and choose to go on. This was maybe 5 years after my NDE when I was still in denial about it and my life was in complete chaos. I had lost everything. I was in complete despair. I thought everybody would be better off if I weren't in the picture. I was meditating on committing suicide when I suddenly found myself in complete darkness hanging onto a thick rope... Abyss, came to mind. Above me the rope was fraying and I knew had a choice whether to just let go and let it be over with or to gather all my inner strength, climb up the rope past the frayed part, and get on with my life. Not that my life got better, that took years of personal growth work, but I never had thoughts of suicide as an option again.

It isn't that suicide is "wrong" or "sinful"... one doesn't burn in hell for eternity, etc. It's that it doesn't solve the problems one is trying to end by suiciding. Wherever you go... there you are! We take them with us and have to deal with them on the other side, including the pain we caused others by doing it, and then we have to come back for another incarnation and face the same kinds of issues again. In my opinion, it just isn't worth it. I'd rather work through these issues while I'm here for the benefit of my soul's growth than keep repeating the same cycles over and over again.

People who attempt suicide but fail or are revived and have a near death experience, come back to say they would never attempt again. Not all have a hellish experience but they are shown the error of their ways, the pain they caused others, and why it isn't the answer. It sets one back in one's spiritual growth whereas sticking it out and working things out, gives one a lot of inner strength, dissolves previous life karma, and furthers one's spiritual growth. Life gets lighter.

Bless you on your spiritual path.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

Suicide to reunite with beloved

Just a question...
What if your life in the physical realm is filled with happiness and you take every opportunity to help others always conscious of your inner voice but you greatly miss your beloved who has already crossed over...


So what if your contemplation of suicide is for no other reason but to be reunited with your loved one on the other side?

And when we are reunited with our loved ones is the relationship in a similiar way as what you had here on the physical realm?

Do we grow so huge spiritually and in our ability to Love that we suddenly find ourselves able to love everyone in the same all encompassing way or will a person still have that special oneness with their significant other who is on the other side just as they did here in the physical realm?

So what if a person contemplates suicide for no other reason but to be reunited with their one true love?

And when we are reunited will we have the same sort of relationship, meaning will my lover still be my lover?

I guess this is easy to answer as I re-read it... when a person commits suicide they leave behind shattered lives no matter what their reason for doing it was. And Yes when we are reunited your mom is still your mom and my lover is still going to be my lover! Right?

I'm so sorry for you to have so many emails from people like me looking for answers... Hopefully you are still taking time to do something special for yourself...
Giuseppe

Dear Giuseppe,
I love it when people answer their own questions! You're right, I'd only add that you're looking at it through your human eyes. We miss them because they are not here, but they don't miss us because they are still with us. By acknowledging their presence, including them in our lives, continuing to talk to them, we keep their presence alive in our hearts. They are our inspiration, our guide, our partner. We help them express themselves in the world through our good works. We honor their life by expressing compassion to others. It's like we are always together no matter which side either of us are on at the time. Just because we humans can't see the entire spectrum of light, doesn't mean your beloved isn't standing next to you at this very moment. A human lifetime that lasts 100 years is still only the blink of an eye in the eternal life of the spirit.

The thing about suicide... it's highly likely one will not be reunited with the loved one he follows in the way he would hope. The suicider would have some issues to work through first (Bardo) postponing the aniticipated reunion. One of the issues we have to work through in the physical dimension is our attachment to all things physical. Compassion grows as we learn to let go of our need to possess material things (including another human being).

On the other side our experience with each other is similar but we are not physical beings with blood and bones so life is similar but different. Without all the restrictions of the physical world, we are free to love on a grander scale and this can be only partially comprehended until higher consciousness has evolved.

Thank you, I am doing something special for myself. I'm pursuing an interest in scenic photography and working with the images in PhotoShop, which gets me out in nature more, exploring the mountainous area where I now live. Check out my Gallery.

Peace & Joy!
Diane

 

I'm thinking about suicide

dear Diane
My young son died suddenly at home of an asthma attack. It was horrible to see him die and we could do nothing to help, even though I am a health care worker. I wish I could have a near death experience to see him once again. I long to hold him and I can't live without my little guy. I can't believe he died that way. I wish I could go back in time and have him right at the hospital when it happened. Maybe then he would have lived.

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear son and I can understand your feeling you should have been able to save him but it wasn't your choice. It was his choice to go, not to leave you but what he came to do was finished and it was time for him to return to our spiritual home. But you have a mission in life too and his leaving is part of that, to allow you to complete it in his name. Consider the woman whose son was killed by a drunk driver and she went on to organize MADD. There are many who have lost children who have found a higher purpose because of the way their child died. You being a nurse are already in a position to raise awareness in some way so that others may be saved... and you have a helper on the other side. You don't need to have a near death experience to see your child. He is with you always, guiding you, comforting you, giving you the strength you need to overcome obstacles. By learning meditation, you will be in closer touch with his guidance in the silence of your mind, and more likely to sense his presence, pick up his subtle clues, or even see him.

Please do some more reading on my web site to help you find your path. My book, Through the Tunnel, will help you relate to his passing as a joyful experience for him and be reassured that he is in a wonderful place, happy and breathing freely, waiting to help you find the light beyond your grief. There are also many links and books about death, dying and the after life, which you might find helpful during this process.

May God bless you and comfort you and heal your heart.
Peace & Joy!
Diane

My Son's Suicide

dear ms. goble
i read your story on the net and was compelled to write you. i know you are a very busy person but being you have experienced life after death maybe you could help me for you see i lost my son 20 months ago this past 18 of this month. for you see he took his life in front of me and i couldnt stop him. he took his life over a girl . now i feel that i have no purpose here anymore . i know it sounds like a cop out but you see he was my heart and now that he is gone i cant seem to get thing in order anymore. i have people tell me all the time how sorry they are when actually they dont even begin to know what i have been put through . i feel like i must be at the end of gods list considering he took everything that had any meaning away.. you are so blessed to been able to experience such a scene i just hope god had mercy on my child and let him go to where there is peace and love. god bless you and keep up the good work

lisa

 

Dear Lisa,

I can explain your situation karmically (you may need to read more from my pages to understand the concepts of karma and reincarnation if you're not familiar with them). The way I understand karma, we come to earth to learn about love. In the process, over many, many lifetimes, we get to experience certain things (depending on on Soul's path) from many different angles. In one life we may be a victim, in another the victimizer, in another a loved one (parent, child, relative, friend) of one or the other, perhaps then a judge or a policeman or a juror or a social worker. In this way we broaden our perspective and learn about what it is to be both human and divine. While on earth, we have no memory of our past lives so we don't understand why things happen to us, but our Soul knows. While on earth, we become emotionally attached to other beings, but our Soul is all love without attachment. Our Soul path is to grow in truth, wisdom, understanding and love, and we do this by living lifetimes as human beings. In the case of you and your son, you have lived many lifetimes together although you are each on your own path, and you will live many more together. This time you were mother and son, in previous and subsequent lifetimes, you may be siblings, husband and wife, good friends, business partners, adversaries, co-workers, etc. In a previous life, you may have been the one who committed suicide and this time you are learning about it from another perspective. Not that it makes the loss of your son any easier to deal with, because you are after all human, but if you can look at it from your Soul's perspective, it has been a valuable learning experience. And now the question is, what did you learn from it? Your son is at home with God but is available to help you find a way out of this cloud of gloom if you are open to his guidance. If you remain in despair, you will never accomplish what you came here to accomplish (which only your Soul can tell you), but with the guidance of your son, who has by now learned his lesson, you can make sense out of it and find a new reason for going on. One possibility might be to get involved with other parents who have lost a child to suicide in a way that is comfortable to you (as an example, look what Carroll O'Connor has done since his son committed suicide to increase awareness about the dangers of drugs). I think there's much that needs to be said about people who think the only solution to a lost love is suicide, especially young people who feel the loss so deeply. In that way, you honor your son's life as well as help others and learn yourself about expressing God's love in the world.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

My husband killed himself... is he OK?

Hello, I just want you to know I've been reading through your site and that it brought much peace to my soul tonight. My husband killed himself January 14, 2002, it has been but three weeks, and I endlessly search for knowledge of the afterlife world to find out where he went and if he is ok. I didn't find out about him, but knowing what it is like when we die brought happiness to my heart. I've pondered killing myself to be or go to him, am hoping he contacts me in some way, but in the mean time, I'll read your site and perhaps purchase your book. Thank you for helping me.

Teresa

Dear Teresa,

I'm so sorry you lost your husband to suicide. That's a very selfish act because of what it does to the people left behind and it's going to take a lot of work on the other side for him to reach an understanding of it. You can help him, and yourself, by sending him messages of love and light (my book will help you with that). Taking the same way out won't bring you closer to him, you'll be dealing with your issues separately on the other side until they are resolved and you may meet again in another lifetime to practice what you learned. We probably all commit suicide in one or more lifetimes as part of learnings lessons in love and compassion, but rising above the temptation to opt out early is more gratifying to your soul. Think about it this way, your soul presented you with an opportunity to learn something about unconditional love. Are you going to learn the lesson now or continue to be presented with even harder lessons later?

If you haven't seen What Dreams May Come, I suggest you do or see it again if you have. It's a pretty good representation of what happens to suicides. Your husband is pretty busy right now dealing with his own lessons but after a while may be able to attempt to contact you. You need to be open to it, not be an emotional wreck so he can't get through. By open, I mean don't expect him to be standing in the hallway one day (although that could happen). It's more likely to be very subtle... a cool breeze where there should be none, chills or goosebumps for no reason, something out of place (photo, book, lamp) or he could come in a dream. If you set aside time to just sit quietly with his picture and think about the good times, it's a good opportunity for him to attempt contact. There are support groups for families of suicides, you can find some information in either of my bookstores or links pages. You may decide to honor his memory by starting your own group in your community or doing something to reach out to people who are at risk for suicide (volunteer at a suicide hotline). I don't mean right now because you are working through your grief, but as the cloud begins to lift. We help ourselves by helping others.

Peace & Joy!

Diane

 

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